To keep this as short as i possibly can (because i tend to go on-and-on): lets just say that im 17 and even i think im too picky sometimes.
I live in what id concider a fairly homophobic area of Melbourne, AUS. Im not out, and im not certain about my sexuality either. Ive never had a real relationship (male or female).
My problem is not only that i can find anyone whos gay, lives close and whos age is remotly close to mine...but also that i am really picky with looks.
I heavily rely on personality (among other things) when 'concidering' sombody...but i ALWAYS make my final choice based on weather im attracted to them physically or not. And as you can see, im yet to have a relationship.
It generally comes down to looks after ive sorted through the personality...i doubt this is the reason i havnt had a relationship yet, as i havnt really found anyone close to my age and who lives close, but im sure it has and will contribute often if i dont sort somthing out. What can i do?
Admitedly im not an UGLY ASSHOLE, but i know im not the best looking and most compatible candidate in terms of looks and personality. So am i justified or is it ok to be like this? Or so i need to do some serious thinking?
...because im dieing to have a good, proper relationship (and see what all the fuss is about).
Post edited by: matty_boy90, at: 2008/04/22 03:23
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Re:Too Picky?
Date: 2008/04/22 07:42
By: dragon_14
Status:
Well quite honestly everyone has their standards. Yes it is good to make sure that someone has a goo personality etc. but if you aren't physically attracted to them things wouldn't work. It might sound shallow but if you aren't physically attracted to someone then you just aren't and that is important to a relationship. Shawn"Dragon_14"
-Senior Manager Operations Department -Training Officer -Forum Assistant Manager TheGYC Chat Service
Science has made us gods even before we are worthy of being men.
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Re:Too Picky?
Date: 2008/04/23 02:48
By: meisinscotland
Status:
For me, relationships are based heavily off of personalities. Now, I know a lot of people simply say that not to look shallow, but believe you me, not as many actually mean it. I can tell you now I do. Also, it doesn't matter whether the person you fancy is the 'hunchback of notre damme' or 'brad pitt' - if YOU are attracted to them, then that's all that matters. personally I find attraction grows after you get to know someone. THEN, if they look good, again in your eyes, that's the final bit that clicks in place.
But I'd honestly say that looks form less than 25% of what I actually see in a guy. People who are 'all about looks' will never last in a relationship but will instead be met with rejection.
perhaps you just *are* too shallow.
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Re:Too Picky?
Date: 2008/04/25 01:40
By: k_owen
Status:
Attraction is what sparks interest to want to be with someone, the personality is what keeps the interest and relationship going and lasting. If we date guys just for their looks, it wouldn’t last. On the other hand, if we dated guys just for their personality, without being attracted to them, it wouldn’t last neither. Whether you’re too picky or not, well only you can tell. If there are a couple of occasions where you regret saying no to a couple of guys cause it might have worked, than maybe you might want to do some serious thinking, but if you have no regrets at all, than you’re fine.
If a proper relationship is what you want, then keep looking for the proper guy. Choosing any guy would result into any relationship, not the proper one. Wish you the best of luck!
love, Keith
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