I've been aware of my homosexuality for several years now; there was never any real doubt in my mind and I think now, at 17, I've come to terms with it. Bar the obligatory infatuations with straight friends (an annoyance but one I can cope with) I haven't really bemoaned my fate. My only problem is in letting other people know so they can bemoan it for me. I have, over the past few months, been trying to convince myself to just be out with it but I cannot quite manage it. Several times I have whispered it under my breath when around friends; several times I have come very close to saying it (particularly when they make joking, albeit hurtful, remarks on homosexuality). I have even gone so far as to drop several, to me glaringly obvious, hints in the hope they will take the initiative and ask me (yes I am an abject coward, what of it?). All to no avail, obviously. I also cannot rid myself of the notion that it doesn't concern them in the slightest even though I am aware it is simply me rationalising staying in the closet.
The terribly ironic thing is I have, in fact, already told three people throughout my life and they all reacted well; I consider them good friends to this day and vice versa. This was all over the impersonal medium of MSN however which is so much easier than in actual conversation. I want to be able to tell people to their faces, I want to be able to allow my close friends to know the real me. I'm not sure what I'm hoping this post will accomplish; superficially I'm seeking advice from people who have been in my situation but I suppose really I just want people to tell me what I already know so I feel better about it.
The administrator has disabled public write access.
Re:Decidedly on the Fence
Date: 2008/03/23 21:03
By: ThinMints
Status:
It seems really hard, I know. My only advice would be: just do it. I know, easier said than done.
For me, it was just a matter of individually taking my best friends aside at school, telling them that I had something important to say. Yeah, it's awkward to initiate that conversation, but it's totally worth it in the end. Just remind them that you wouldn't be telling them if you didn't value their friendship and whatnot, and you'll find that in most cases your friendship will become even closer. And if it turns out that someone doesn't accept you, then he/she wasn't really your friend to begin with.
Hurray for cliche responses! But seriously, it's the best way. It's difficult, but I promise you won't regret it. Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
The administrator has disabled public write access.
Re:Decidedly on the Fence
Date: 2008/03/23 23:10
By: seriouslycant
Status:
Why not try telling one person and letting a rumour spread.. then when people ask you you can just say yes.. or if your still not ready say no.. another way which is quick but painful is making a massive group msn conversation and come out.. my friend did that.. noone really cared lol.. but noone particularly liked him anyway.. or you could always tell girls.. girls dig gay guys.. lol (: tell people 1 by 1.. easier..
The administrator has disabled public write access.
