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If you found God lying in the street
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Date: 2008/02/04 16:27
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By: Steely Dan
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If you were walking downtown and God was lying naked on the hard cement under a cold rain, would you kick dirt in his face?
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Re:If you found God lying in the street
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Date: 2008/02/04 17:45
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By: MooYak
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No, because being "God" would carry with it the implications that he is has a ton of power and can get revenge. So if your going to do anything, you better finish him.
I would just kill him. Maybe then I get his power? Who knows.
"Where we have strong emotions, we're liable to fool ourselves." - Carl Sagan
Link to American Psychological Association's page regarding homosexual relations.
http://www.apa.org/releases/gaymarriage_reso.pdf
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Re:If you found God lying in the street
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Date: 2008/02/04 18:43
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By: Steely Dan
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Lying on the street naked means he's lost his power; don't you know anything about literature.
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Re:If you found God lying in the street
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Date: 2008/02/05 02:06
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By: BravoLima
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Then I'd have to assume who's taken his place. Perhaps Satan, and as we all know Satan is a sodomiser, so things should start to brighten up in the world.
I'd probably remind him that him being naked is morally apprehensible and totally disgusting. I would then sue the church at denying me the 'apparent' right that I have to not be offended. I would sue the Church, as God would be poor and the Church loaded.
You should always respect one's religious beliefs, however imaginary friends, delusional behaviour, a belief in a two thousand year old folk-lore should be treated by a professional.
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Re:If you found God lying in the street
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Date: 2008/02/05 08:39
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By: MooYak
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Lying on the street naked does not necessarily hold the implication that he is now powerless. Some Christians claim that angels or even god come to earth from time to time as beggars or other members of the lower classes in order to test people. And I fail to see how it has to do with literature.
So, assuming now that we somehow know he has lost all of his power, we can as Bravo deduced conclude that someone took his place and since Satan seems to be the second most powerful entity in the Christian pantheon it is only a short leap to conclude the new power to be him. So in order to gain favour with this new power in charge (who is way more fun than the old asshole anyway) I suppose a prolonged session of psychological and physical torture is in order. Perhaps a taste of what all has been done in his name for the past few thousand years. Or I would just ignore him because I have better things to do with my time than wonder about a fallen god. Plenty of those around anyway.
"Where we have strong emotions, we're liable to fool ourselves." - Carl Sagan
Link to American Psychological Association's page regarding homosexual relations.
http://www.apa.org/releases/gaymarriage_reso.pdf
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Re:If you found God lying in the street
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Date: 2008/02/07 01:40
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By: Avenue14
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Firstly, I don't know how on Earth I would know that it was God lying down on the street. And even if they had some great big neon sign attached to them saying "I'm God, kick dirt in my face", I don't think I would do it.
Why? Because to create negativity in a world only contributes to the creation of more negativity. I would, in effect, add fuel to the never-ending fires of hate and spite.
Mind you, I don't fully agree with what the bible has to say, and I believe in a God of acceptance and love, rather than the angry, vengeful god that religious fanatics masquerade around under as some perverse banner.
But back to the point. If I did find God on the street, and saw him ruined in such a way? My first instinct would be to help him, because it's in my nature to do so. It's in my nature to help any person that has reached such a state. Then I'd help him get some clothes, and perhaps, help him get his feet back on the ground as a mortal. Then, perhaps, he'd see - if he hadn't already - that we aren't bad people. And I believe that that would create more positivity which should help to make the world a little better than it is now.
Honestly, we collectively try to fight the world because some people out there are too closed-minded to understand that we are people too. But if we can't show them what really makes us human? I don't think we'd be disproving any of their claims, regardless of how stupid they may be.
That's my two cents on the topic.
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Re:If you found God lying in the street
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Date: 2008/02/07 18:01
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By: Steely Dan
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Would you like change?
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Re:If you found God lying in the street
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Date: 2008/02/07 21:40
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By: Avenue14
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Keep it. 
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Re:If you found God lying in the street
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Date: 2008/02/08 13:46
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By: Steely Dan
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I'd probably kick a little dirt in his face, but then offer some comfort sex; I have a soft heart.
Oh but first I'd bring him to a Doc cuz he might have an STD.
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Re:If you found God lying in the street
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Date: 2008/02/08 17:45
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By: MooYak
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Hate and spite will continue. Forever. (Or at least until humanity is annihilated, be it through war, some great global calamity, or when the sun finally decides to quit working.) They are human emotions as surely as love and compassion.
You say you don't think God is as he is portrayed in the Bible? Tell me then, unless he was simply a god of a different religion, what other God can there be? The one you make up in your mind? You don't really have anything to go off of except the Bible, so if your going to put stock in some of it but not the rest, I think it's time to rethink things through.
That being said, if he is the God of the Bible, I would say he deserves to die. Unless he is one of those criminals we can rehabilitate, but since he would conceivable have been at it for thousands of years, I don't think there is too much hope for that. If he was a regular hobo, he doesn't have all that added against him, so I would take pity on him like you. Anyway, take him somewhere where nobody can see you kill him, and theres nobody to spread the "negativity".
"Where we have strong emotions, we're liable to fool ourselves." - Carl Sagan
Link to American Psychological Association's page regarding homosexual relations.
http://www.apa.org/releases/gaymarriage_reso.pdf
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Re:If you found God lying in the street
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Date: 2008/02/09 20:33
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By: Sxcriley
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id go and like attach myself to him permanently, he'd have to pry me off with lightning or something =D
"It doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world." - Rick
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Re:If you found God lying in the street
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Date: 2008/02/13 17:13
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By: Mike2943
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lets see....I would run over to him....then start laughing and I would walk away muttering something about the downfall lol
Being Forgotten is worse then death
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Re:If you found God lying in the street
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Date: 2008/02/16 21:32
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By: Just Dave
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Don't you know anything about grammar? (emphasis on the question mark)
Only joking though, grammar's pretty much useless. It's like math in lit. class. Plus I suck at it.
But if I did find god in the street, we would have a serious talk about why he spends his time waiting for me naked, in the streets while millions of people suffer war, hate, depression, and disease.
I'd also like to ask him why he thinks we need Hannah Montana. Aren't there enough things for girls to scream about, like rodents or spiders?
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Re:If you found God lying in the street
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Date: 2008/02/25 06:25
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By: Genesis
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The God of the Old Testament is unpleasant: genocidal, vindictive, racist, homophobic, malevolent, jealous and proud of it... so if I hypothetically saw him in the street naked I'd assume he'd got what he deserved.
Nevertheless, he'd be on the same level as us humans, so as I would do for any other naked human lying in the street, weak and naked; I'd help him and shelter him. However, I'd want to question him; find out how he fell from power and try to discover the true nature of his character. If he turns out to be exactly what I was expecting then there'd be no other option than to charge him as a criminal.
Then again, as apparently the Abrahamic God is entirely omnipotent this crazy scenario would never come into play so... meh. 
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Re:If you found God lying in the street
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Date: 2008/02/27 09:49
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By: Dan69
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As any compassionate being would. I would do everything I could to help the man, god or not.
If it was actually a god, then it was most likely testing to see if I would help or not. And if it was not, then it was a fellow man in need of help. Either way, I would do the right thing.
No those pants don't make your butt look big. It doesn't need any help looking big.
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Re:If you found God lying in the street
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Date: 2008/02/28 17:20
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By: Lalu
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Thank you, Avenue14, for realizing that God doesn't hate us. And it's great that some others of you wouldn't kill him!
I would help God up, give him some food and clothes, let him take a shower if he wanted to. I'd ask him a few questions, I'm not sure what now but I'd make'em important.
I really don't believe that God makes wars, poverty, disease, and all the troubles that humans experience from day to day. It's either the free will of people or the stuff that occurs naturally in the environment which does.
People in the rest of the world don't hate God when their lives go sour, they look to him for guidance. You can argue all you want if he actually exists or not, but you can't argue the importance that the belief in him has in the lives of many. Americans are the absolute last people in the world that should think God's done them wrong.
Post edited by: Lalu, at: 2008/02/28 17:24
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Re:If you found God lying in the street
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Date: 2008/02/28 23:42
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By: MooYak
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So your god isn't really very useful then is he? If all he can do is provide mental comfort through your faith, but he can't actually stop the wars, poverty, disease, etc, he seems like a layabout, and I say we need a replacement.
The problem with your argument is that you justify everything good by claiming it to be godly, and everything you deem as bad you push away and claim comes from elsewhere. (satan, for example) That sort of thinking is really quite absurd if you think about, because there is really no logical reason for you to reach such a conclusion other than because that is what you want to believe. I repeat, what you *want* to believe. So you will not let anyone else tell you otherwise. It's a bit like a delusion, really, where you want to believe in flying teapots so you don't let people tell you otherwise. And then of course those that do tell you otherwise are themselves deluded, otherwise they would see the truth of the flying teapots just like you.
People all over the world fear change, fear pain, just like you and I. So we invented something that never changes. That loves us and cares for us and assures us that even if we do get beaten into a bloody gruesome pulp by those fascist guerrilla fighters, we still have an afterlife to look forward to where we can sing and wander without fear forever and ever... *shatter* well it's time to break the illusion and drop the fantasy.
Did I mention I didn't hate god? I don't believe I did. Well, I don't hate him, or it, or whatever, because it doesn't exist, so it would be a little like hating that imaginary flying teapot. A whole lot of wasted energy.
Also, Americans don't think your god has done them wrong. Americans are the most religious of all the first world nations. So let's go wave our little flags, force unscientific dogma on our children, and reform this nation into a powerful Christian nation of peace. Then we can spread our peace to places like Iraq and Iran. Yeehaaw!
"Where we have strong emotions, we're liable to fool ourselves." - Carl Sagan
Link to American Psychological Association's page regarding homosexual relations.
http://www.apa.org/releases/gaymarriage_reso.pdf
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Re:If you found God lying in the street
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Date: 2008/02/29 01:45
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By: BravoLima
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If God can't stop wars, then heck, fuck him, let's do whatever we want. Judgement day? Oh sure, he can wipe us all out, but he can't set wrongs right before wars occur?
The one I love best is when a child dies, and then people call it a miracle that 'luckily', a few photos survive a fire so that their parents can still have pictures of their dearly departed. Pretty sour tasting miracle if you ask me.
God doesn't kill, he gets people like George Bush to do his dirty work for him. 
You should always respect one's religious beliefs, however imaginary friends, delusional behaviour, a belief in a two thousand year old folk-lore should be treated by a professional.
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Re:If you found God lying in the street
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Date: 2008/02/29 17:22
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By: Dan69
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BravoLima wrote:
If God can't stop wars, then heck, fuck him, let's do whatever we want. Judgement day? Oh sure, he can wipe us all out, but he can't set wrongs right before wars occur?
The one I love best is when a child dies, and then people call it a miracle that 'luckily', a few photos survive a fire so that their parents can still have pictures of their dearly departed. Pretty sour tasting miracle if you ask me.
God doesn't kill, he gets people like George Bush to do his dirty work for him.
This entire post is completely off topic, and utterly useless.
Humanity is a young race on the whole, if there is a god, and he/she/it is the parent of humanity. Then obviously he/she/it would want us to grow on our own, and not interfere directly.
Think for a minute, how would people learn anything, if some seemingly all powerful being swooped in and pulled us out of every bad situation? The answer is, we wouldn't.
Back on topic though. I already answered with what I would do. And I hope there are more people in this world that would be willing to do the same.
No those pants don't make your butt look big. It doesn't need any help looking big.
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Re:If you found God lying in the street
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Date: 2008/03/14 15:19
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By: Football_Boy
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If i found God lying in the street I'd probably just ask him why the Hell he created such an assinine, intollerant, bigoted race of people...
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