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My only fear is that my life will change.
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Date: 2007/12/29 23:06
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By: tgfCoachella
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So it goes that I have reached my breaking point. I would like to get it off my chest that I am "almost positive" that I am gay. The only thing I fear is that my life will change. In everything I read about "coming out" it all makes the common agreement that yes, things will change. The only problem is, I have the most interesting, creative, intellectual friends anyone could want, and I don't want to them to think any differently of me.
I had an acquaintance a year ago that had a really great friend. They had been the best of friends for years, but when that acquaintance told his friend he was bisexual they just started drifting apart and now they don't really speak to each other. The sight of this has scared me away from coming out.
Finally my last rant. I fear coming out without anyone else I know out there. There was a guy my age that I was in love with. We shared the same musical interests, he had a great sense of humor, and was all that I had ever looked for in a person. We had "done a few things" to which I don't want to convey on the open internet seeming as how I am in a shy state. Well these things led me to believe that maybe there was the slight chance that he too was gay. I got so infatuated with him that it started tearing me apart. Day and night I couldn't keep him off of my mind. I finally reached the breaking point, so I began to whisper "i'm gay" to myself behind his back, hoping that maybe he would here me and respond "You are, well I've been thinking that I am too. I think we should be together for eternity and elope to Hawaii." Well none of that ever happened, and we have begun to grown farther apart over the past few months. I still hope to myself though, that he will "come out" and realize how I had felt about him and all would be well with the world.
If you want more details of this sappy drama, PM me and I can give you the lo-down.
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