i don't know if its the singing along to the hairspray soundtrack, or something else, but my mother suspects that i'm gay, and she has been using metaphors like "even if you want to go to the himalayas, your father and i will support you". it's kind of weird. i want to be able to come out when i'm ready. any advice/comments?i'm nobody's little weasel
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Re:my mother is trying to out me
Date: 2007/12/15 10:39
By: HarrisonSJ
Status:
Perhaps be grateful you're parents will support you when you do come out...
Anyway, enough of my envy! Just ignore them, she'll probably get the message that you're not ready - also, you don't have to come out to everyone at once, if you're really close to your mum, and feel ready you can just come out to her.
It just depends how close to your parents you are, and what sort of people they are really. http://myspace.com/autumn_tear
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Re:my mother is trying to out me
Date: 2007/12/17 11:25
By: FootyStarPaige
Status:
Yup, don't let yourself feel pressurised into 'coming out' because that will just make it more difficult for you. But as HarrisonSJ said, be quite happy about it because you know she will support you when you do come out Just ignore the comments shes been giving you or even tell her she's freaking you out a bit (if your that bold). Best of Luck to you
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Re:my mother is trying to out me
Date: 2007/12/17 22:45
By: MooYak
Status:
What are you waiting for? A feeling of "Now must be the time to come out" to suddenly strike you one day? Doubt that will happen. Sorry if I don't sound as caring as the two above, but it sounds like your procrastinating. Or you can continue to delay, your choice really. "Where we have strong emotions, we're liable to fool ourselves." - Carl Sagan
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Re:my mother is trying to out me
Date: 2007/12/24 20:04
By: Eirra
Status:
Yeah, I'd say just in general, ignore it. It's good to know that she will support you, and when she says things like that, you can say, "Ok, thanks Mom." and then leave it at that, or change the subject, or you know, whatever. Eventually, she should stop and you will be able to come out when you feel comfortable with it. ^__^ "What's the point of being crazy if you can't have a little fun with it?" -John Nash, A Beautiful Mind
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Re:my mother is trying to out me
Date: 2007/12/25 02:48
By: cjreig
Status:
Hey apawl92,
From what I make of it I'd say it's just your mum's way of trying to let you know that they support you. Like the other users of this forum, don't ever feel pressured to do anything against your will. Like FootyStarPaige said, if you feel comfortable, you can talk with your mother about this, confront her and let her know that you appreciate the support she is offering, but you can ask her to be a bit more subtle about the issue.
That's just my two cents. Have a very Merry Christmas, and I wish you all the best in the future.
Take care,
Chris
PS: "Even if you want to go to the Himalayas, your father and I will support you"... LOL! Sorry, but I've just never heard that one before.
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Re:my mother is trying to out me
Date: 2007/12/25 19:40
By: GNR7600
Status:
If your comfortable go for it because if you have parents that accept you for who you are before you even tell them your gay, then my opinion is that there truly caring parents. It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees ( Ibarurri 1895)
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Re:my mother is trying to out me
Date: 2008/01/26 17:35
By: apawl92
Status:
thanks for all of your advice... but i think i'll first come out to my friends and then based on their reactions, i'll then decide when to come out to my parents i'm nobody's little weasel
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Re:my mother is trying to out me
Date: 2008/01/26 19:31
By: Catherine
Status:
my mom was making comments to me like that right when i was starting to come out to myself. so i thought she must have known. turns out that when i did finally tell her, she had no idea. my brother said i was just 'gay paranoid'. that i was nervous about coming out and that anything that had gays/lesbians in it was targeted at me. i thought i was the most obvious lesbian. turns out i wasn't. nobody had any idea when i told them that i was a lesbian.
my point is that, yes your mom may think that you're gay, but your mind could be blowing things out of proportion. she could just want you to know that you can talk to her about anything, especially if you've been acting differently lately.
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Re:my mother is trying to out me
Date: 2008/02/02 16:39
By: mylife
Status:
yeahMy mom is trying to do the same thing..she really wants me to tell her. But then I thought she was going threw my room (and she was), so then I wrote a note and told her that I didnt think she should be looking in my room and if she wanted to know something to ask me..and It has almost stopped. If you aren't ready to tell your mom, then don't. --Stephanie
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Re:my mother is trying to out me
Date: 2008/02/02 23:50
By: takecoverforever
Status:
The same thing is sort of happening to me too! Whenever a pretty good looking guy walks by, my mom turns around and smiles at me...as if she wanted to catch me staring. Then I, instead, watch women in skimpy clothing walk by, or at the models in advertisements. Fun life, this one is...
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Re:my mother is trying to out me
Date: 2008/02/03 00:21
By: euthanasia
Status:
My mother outed me on Friday lmao. She found my Myspace at work, printed it off, and made my dad read it. They found my myspace four years ago, when my mother seized my laptop and looked it up under IE history, but I had convinced them in the following years that it was just phase... IDK, I really, really dislike my mother now (I still love her as my mother, but I hate her as a person-this, however, is reciprocal)-my father seems rather sorry that she forcibly re-outed me, and then chewed me out for about an hour (I got another 30min dose today) before she left the house... I planned to tell them in time, but I was rather concerned with how this will alter their treatment and image of me-I think my mum knew anyway, but her hunting down my Myspace just to affirm her suspicions, and then humiliating, patronizing, ridiculing and degrading me over and over really irks me. It's somewhat of a relief, knowing that if I ever find a BF, I won't have any additional explaining to do-and that I now don't have to sing quitely in the shower or have to limit my time in my bathroom-but I feel more distanced from all of them, really more alone in the world, because of her actions. Her rationale was that she "had a right to know", but I disagree-my fancying guys doesn't affect the moral integrity or common sense which filters my actions-I've never been a trouble maker in my life, she was just being nosy and damaged me emotionally as a result of her vain quest for 'truth'. Quite frankly, I've never trusted her or felt comfortable telling her anything important, otherwise I may have told her by now-but the end result was precisely what I expected... Anyway, enough about me. Himalayas lmao. She's subtle allright. I wish my mum had that much tact and sensitivity... I agree with the others, it sounds like your mum has the best intent at heart (above and beyond nosiness)-and you should be grateful that your parents aren't homophobes, many others are less fortunate. The best thing, in my mind, to do would be to wait until you're totally and entirely comfortable saying it (or as close to comfort in presenting yourself as one can get). There's no rush, it's not like you'll wake up tomorrow straight-this is a part of who you are for as long as you live, reveal it as you see fit. Coming out to friends first (chose carefully if you care whether or not the news spreads like wildfire), however counterintuitive, is a good method of going about it-it provides practice for the grand ordeal (which, with your mum, may not be such a big deal). Nevertheless, with this, it's all about you, so do whatever feels best.
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