Hey, I'm in need of a little wisdom, so I'll give some details with my question.
Im 17 years old, and have been attracted to guys since I was around 13. I even remembered when it first started, I was watching some show, and saw two guys kiss, and it turned me on. From then on I relaized I was attracted to the male body.
I've never had any physical attraction to girls. But the thing is, I still wanted to date them, I was really into the personality I guess. So I dated a few girls, but finally this summer I was like, "I feel weird doing this, I'm not getting much out of it." It seems like I was emotionally attracted to girls, but physically to guys, but now it seems like the emotional attraction has ended as well, now I just date for that feeling of being really close to someone.
Anyone have any insight on these feelings?
So I guess my question is, what was everyones experience with 'recognizing' these feelings. Has anyone been attracted to guys for a few years, then changed again when they got older?
And then, whats the next step. I hate feeling like I'm hiding something, I want to be myself, but I guess I really want to make sure that its most likely not gonna change. I prolly wouldn't have like a 'coming out', more just like tell people if they ask, but not broadcasting it.
How was the coming out? I have a bunch of conservative friends and family, and I honestly don't know how some of them could still be my friend if I admitted I was gay.
I would REALLY appreciate some advice on all this. Thanks
-Jay
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Re:Can being gay be just a phase?
Date: 2007/11/29 08:23
By: sharazisspecial
Status:
Well I myself have never thought I was straight ever. So I can't empathise with you there... But I believe you are gay. You have felt sexual attraction to same-sex for a good few years. You however have not felt a woman attractive ever? Same way for me.
You want love and commitment which are both feminine traits. So yes they will be in more women then men. But you are still young so people are afraid to truly be themselves at that age and tend to act on the emotional stereotypes. So you will find women’s personality better because they have more feminine traits .
Everyone is a different person deep down inside. Now if they acted through there hearts rather then what society teaches us then you probably wouldn't be asking this question!
You will find much more different personality guys as you grow older. So just wait and don't expect too many guys that want you to be like this. You will find a lot more guys that are not feminine then masculine but don't give up hope. Go slowly and don't worry. Try becoming friends and show lots of emotion to them and see how they react...
I can't help you with the rest lol!
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Re:Can being gay be just a phase?
Date: 2007/11/29 20:15
By: wakester21
Status:
Thanks for the response, but I have a question. In ur last paragraph, are you talking about guys in the sense of straight guys or gay guys?
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Re:Can being gay be just a phase?
Date: 2007/11/29 22:39
By: BravoLima
Status:
Personally, I'm open to the idea of phases, however, 13 to 17... that's a pretty damn long phase, I mean even my brother's 80s death metal phase didn't last that long.
My guess is that it isn't, and as for the following ramifications of actually being gay; yeah, that can be shitty.
The way I see it, you're not hiding anything if people don't ask. No one's seriously asked me if I was gay, so telling them would be kind of like going up to an old lady, slapping her in the face, and saying, 'I'm 20 years old bitch.'
If you don't want to lose the friends and relatives, then simply don't tell them, it's really none of their business afterall.
Cheers You should always respect one's religious beliefs, however imaginary friends, delusional behaviour, a belief in a two thousand year old folk-lore should be treated by a professional.
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Re:Can being gay be just a phase?
Date: 2007/11/30 09:12
By: sharazisspecial
Status:
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Re:Can being gay be just a phase?
Date: 2007/12/03 18:42
By: GNR7600
Status:
Bro, I'm the same age and I had the same problem.
If you believe in fate, then you probably are gay because everything happens for a reason. Why else would you go through a homosexual phase? I was the same way, emotionally attracted to girls and sexually attracted with guys. You are who you are, and when you come in terms with that and get a first hand experience with both sides than you'll probably realize whether your gay or straight. It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees ( Ibarurri 1895)
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Re:Can being gay be just a phase?
Date: 2007/12/05 05:10
By: Crazy Manbeast
Status:
It sounds like you are gay, and as for coming out, it is a good idea not to broadcast it but i think that if you wanted people to know then you should be able to tell them. One quote that i tend to live by is 'people who care dont matter, people who matter dont care' i know its really really cheesy but its relevant nonetheless. to be honest, homophobia is just ignorance, if you talk to people about it then they may change their minds. For example, i have a friend who is slightly homophobic but they are fine around me ( probably because im the straight- gay type, and it is just camp people who he has a problem with) from what ive picked up you dont sound camp, so maybe they wont have a problem with. At the end of the day it is you life, so do what you want. Whatever you do choose, Good Luck!
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Re:Can being gay be just a phase?
Date: 2007/12/07 18:29
By: Soulfire
Status:
Well, I think most guys go through a period of at least liking some other guy. Remember that few (very few) people are 100% gay or 100% straight. So you could be "gay", just not as close to the 100% as other people.
As for it being a phase, I wouldn't rule it out, but your sexuality (so I'm told) generally sticks with you. I've been attracted to guys since I was around 14 and have only recently came to terms with it to where I was comfortable to come out to my friends (17 now).
What I'm getting to is, I suppose you could grow out of it, perhaps find that one girl...
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Re:Can being gay be just a phase?
Date: 2008/05/09 13:41
By: fake_alias
Status:
yea i've heard of gay phases in adolsence. However they're usually short, or revolve around one person. And u don't seem 2 fit either of those definitions. Also by 17 ur sexuality has usually solidified tho.
I myself was in ur position although i'm a yr younger. I connected easily with girlz on an emotional lvl, as friends. But never could get attracted 2 them sexually. Guys....it's hard 2 find the off switch most days . But that's life as a horny teen. sorry if this wasn't the answer u where hoping for.
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but its relevant nonetheless. to be honest, homophobia is just ignorance, if you talk to people about it then they may change their minds. For example, i have a friend who is slightly homophobic but they are fine around me ( probably because im the straight- gay type, and it is just camp people who he has a problem with) from what ive picked up you dont sound camp, so maybe they wont have a problem with.
