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Its Just Me
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Date: 2008/04/13 19:35
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By: Midnight_guy
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This may seem like an odd thing, but i needed to say this somewhere and everywhere else just didnt seem to fit it. This is why.
First off, hi, and thanks for reading. I do thank you. Next, im utterely depressed. I mean, lowest i have ever been, and its all because of me, mostly. See, i like in this small town that just pisses me off more that anything, and everyone in my school, is straight. And if there not, there too scared to admit it because its the way my school runs, they hear gossip, they tell gossip, and that person get kicked in the ass, teased, and picked on for eternity. i know, cause i still am scared to tell everyone, but alot of people know, jsut close friends mostly.. well heres why im depressed since you have the backround.
i have lots of friends, most of which being girls, and i have a couple guy friends, but i dont hang with them much, cause, well... obvious reasons, they dont really, u know... but i have one guy friend, that i have been hanging with alot lately, and i thought he had the spark of gay in him, well, i got a crush... bad. One of my friends told him, and we found that he wasnt... but i still have my sceptics, but we stayed friends and we were cool.
anyways, prom came, and at the dance, he showed up after saying he wasnt going to come, which surprised me. we hung out, talked, and we were together alot, and all of a sudden, everyone was asking me if we were dating, and said that we were a cute couple.. and that worried me.
my guy friend didnt know about any of this, and i never thought too much about it, till i got to work and all the co-workers were asking me about it, and i spassed, to put it in good terms. i knew that this would ruin my friendship with him, and that i needed to warn him. so i did, and it just turned out bad.. i lost a good friend, and now, im still single, and no one to talk to.. too much hurts, i just want someone like me to talk to in person, hang out with, and go out with (by go out i mean shop, or movies, or even dating if that pertains)
i just really badly want somone to hold in my arms, and talk to all night, under the stars.... during a thunderstorm even, when its lightly rainning and theres a slight wind with the light thunder... and just talk about everything. it makes me cry, cause just in the area im in, its hard. i like talking to people, but i cant do long distance stuff, it makes me sad, and hurts.
thats basically all i had to say, it was more of a vent, than anything, but thanks for reading... i dont know what gonna happen next, but i really badly just want to cry all night.
Hart
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Re:Its Just Me
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Date: 2008/04/14 01:36
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By: andyandrew88
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Actually, I think you should give him some time. In small towns, especially, straight guys tend to be afraid of associating with someone gay, even if they really like him. The key will be as to how you react or respond to all this. Stay cool, be yourself, and don't change any behavior that you would normally allow people to see in you.
Just remember, you are not who you are because you are gay, you are gay because of who you are. Reality is, he may be questioning his own sexuality, and could be so far in the closet it sucks..........
Just some thoughts.
Andy
Thanks for the post....... Andy
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