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What are your views over age gaps in relationships
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Date: 2005/11/26 18:12
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By: hey_its_anton
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The concern over wide age gaps in homosexual relationships has largely stemmed from the stigma of Section 28 and its abolishment. During 2000 when the age of consent for homosexuals was reduced from 18 to 16, the major criticism against it was the hyperthetical situation of a 16 year old boy being abused by a 60 year old man. What we neglect to mention is that the age of consent for hetrosexuals has been 16 for generations, why did we never question the idea of a 16 year old girl being abused by a 60 year old man? Relationships are impossible to generalise, the law gives guidelines, but it must be noted that while some 14 year olds may have reached the level of maturity for a sexual relationship, some 19 year olds may not have! (and vice versa) Every relationship must be judged on its merits, and as long as the older partner has integrity and the younger, a solid advice base, then there is no reason why both partners can't bring beautiful things to the relationship, compliment each others experiences, and help build wisdom in the young, and give youth back to the older. These relationships can blossom beautifully, if cultivated in the right way. Plant your seeds.
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Re:What are your views over age gaps in relationsh
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Date: 2005/11/27 02:04
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By: Moo
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Relationships are impossible to generalise, the law gives guidelines, but it
must be noted that while some 14 year olds may have reached the level of maturity for a sexual
relationship, some 19 year olds may not have! (and vice versa) Every relationship must be judged on
its merits, and as long as the older partner has integrity and the younger, a solid advice base,
then there is no reason why both partners can't bring beautiful things to the relationship,
compliment each others experiences, and help build wisdom in the young, and give youth back to the
older.
I totally agree. I fail to see point of the big hoo ha people make when their friend or relative tells them their partner is considerably older or younger. We're all different and cannot be judged by our age alone. I guess I'm so strongly against ageism in any form because I'm often treated like a child because I'm younger than most of the people I know, which seems odd since I tend to be far more mature than some of them. Still, time earns me the right to be treated as an adult.
When it comes to relationships, factors like age should not be a concern for abuse since anyone of any age can abuse someone, it does not rely on how old they are or how young their partner is. Nor does it matter if they're black, white, male, female or any other factor that shouldn't mean much, if aything, in such issues. The only concern I would have, if I had an older partner, is being treated like a child - which is usually only common in relationships founded on a subconscious want for a father/mother figure. Other than that, what is there to worry about, expect perhaps the old niggle of 'he/she may be more experienced than me'. 
I've seen many happy relationships between people with a big, or considerable (by social standards), age gap and I'm all for it. Thinking that upping the age of consent will help prevent abuse is utterly rediculous. What about men and women who dominate through power and fear? They do not necessarily target younger victims, merely prey that is weaker than them.
Young or old, let love be.
"I'm not supposed to love you, I'm not supposed to care, I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there. I'm not supposed to wonder where you are or what you do...I'm sorry I can't help myself, I'm in love with you."
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Re:What are your views over age gaps in relationsh
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Date: 2006/07/04 18:23
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By: tito24
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My friends aremaking a big deal becausemy bf is 2 years older then me (im 14)
wtf is their problem??
<-->People think that I've stopped lying... I've just gotten better at it.<-->
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Re:What are your views over age gaps in relationships
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Date: 2006/07/17 14:29
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By: the biggun
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i think u should b able 2 go out with hueva u want and not hav a problem wiv age differences 4 example i want some 1 older tha me so lets just say they can teach me da ropes
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Re:What are your views over age gaps in relationships
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Date: 2006/09/26 06:47
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By: TEC
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I think there is nothing wrong with it
as long as you love/like whatever
the other person whats wrong with that  
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Re:What are your views over age gaps in relationships
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Date: 2006/09/26 06:49
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By: TEC
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I think there is nothing wrong with it
as long as you love/like whatever
the other person whats wrong with that
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Re:What are your views over age gaps in relationsh
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Date: 2006/09/29 08:19
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By: ximaginaryxlitex
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tito24 wrote:
My friends aremaking a big deal becausemy bf is 2 years older then me (im 14)
wtf is their problem??
I don't see why they are upset about it. Two years isn't that much of an age difference. My limit is three to fours years older anything more than that, in my opinion, is wrong and a bit disturbing.
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Re:What are your views over age gaps in relationships
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Date: 2006/09/29 21:12
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By: boerseun
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"a 16 year old boy being abused by a 60 year old man."
Do I understand you right?
Do you say it is okay for a 16 year old boy to go out with a man of 60?!
If so, I do not agree, at all.
Okay, I cant speak from experienc3e, because I just started dating guys at the beginning of this year. But I went to gay clubs for a few weeks when I was 16 and EVERY man over 50 wanted to buy me drinks and 'get with me'. Not because I was a great guy, but because I still had a soft skin and didnt shave yet. They totally put me off the clubbing.
Since then I have had friends that is much older, but thats it.
How can the life goals of a 16-year old compare to someone that is 60?
I think 5 years is okay, but that also depends, because a 11-year old and a 16-year old will not work either.
Dont you think you should grow WITH the person?
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Re:What are your views over age gaps in relationsh
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Date: 2006/10/12 21:27
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By: vixen
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I don't see any problem with age difference. The legal problem with a couple having sex and one of them being underage, even if it's only by a year, then it counts as rape, at aleast in South Africa. Whatever, I personally wouldn't date anyone older than maybe five years, but that's my preference. I don't see how it is a problem, as long as there is mutual respect I guess
the new adventures od Sigmund Freud
I'm a wannabe raging homo... cause I'm really just a homo :|
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Re:What are your views over age gaps in relationsh
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Date: 2006/10/13 01:30
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By: dragonking
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Well i dont think 14 year olds should be dating at all... like really you think its a big deal but it aint. You should pace yourself and do things as you get older cause if you do everything when your young well you just end up getting too old too quickly.
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Re:What are your views over age gaps in relationsh
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Date: 2006/10/13 02:14
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By: 2hot_2touch
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age difference does play a big part when it come to relationship. I personally would not even consider any1 under 15/16......due to the emotional, physical and intelligence variations. Thus the age difference for me is at most 3yrs at most at this stage of development. Inevitably you will both be at the same stage but could your relationship last that long?
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Re:What are your views over age gaps in relationsh
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Date: 2006/10/13 07:50
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By: tistria
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Post edited by: tistria, at: 2008/05/01 17:43
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Re:What are your views over age gaps in relationsh
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Date: 2006/10/13 16:25
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By: vixen
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dragonking wrote:
Well i dont think 14 year olds should be dating at all... like really you think its a big deal but it aint. You should pace yourself and do things as you get older cause if you do everything when your young well you just end up getting too old too quickly.
The scary thing is that the age bracket for sexual contact, for any preference, is getting lower and lower. Kids are doing things younger and younger, and if anything most kids that age have no idea of the risks that comes with sex with someone who might not be trustworthy
the new adventures od Sigmund Freud
I'm a wannabe raging homo... cause I'm really just a homo :|
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Re:What are your views over age gaps in relationsh
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Date: 2006/10/17 22:57
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By: OWAUK
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It really depends only on the two people. 13 years is the youngest age I think is suitable for dating, and even that's a stretch. As teenagers, people will be very different with just a couple years difference, but with adults the difference is less. 15 and 17 year olds will be less alike than 30 and 40 year olds. I'd say it depends on the maturity of the younger person, not the immaturity of the older, as a friend from school suggested :-S
Well, great sig I've got going here! Don't youjust agree?
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Re:What are your views over age gaps in relationsh
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Date: 2006/10/20 20:13
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By: vixen
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at 17 I'd date someone older than me, five years maybe, and that's pushing it. Younger though? PFFT! ^_^ maybe 16
the new adventures od Sigmund Freud
I'm a wannabe raging homo... cause I'm really just a homo :|
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Re:What are your views over age gaps in relationsh
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Date: 2006/10/21 03:18
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By: Artiste
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I would date maybe as low as 15 (or three years lower, whichever), although that's only a hypothetical since nobody's going to be dating me anytime soon, let alone 15 year olds.
Although hypocritically, I suppose, I wouldn't date anyone much old than me, mostly because of the whole "they've passed the highschool barrier and I'm still a student" culture difference, I suppose. But then there's also my Holden Caulfield complex which would make the whole thing impossible.
Music that people with taste are listening to this week:
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Re:What are your views over age gaps in relationships
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Date: 2006/10/29 03:32
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By: romantic
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Personaly I wont date anyone 1 younger or 3 years older than me. I think if the people really, and I mean really, care then they should date. Who cares except maybe the parents and a jealsous friend or two.
I guess you could say Love is Love and let it be, but always becareful Lust masks itself with the look of love.
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Re:What are your views over age gaps in relationships
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Date: 2006/10/31 12:39
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By: toxic
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Age only matters when we're young. I'm 18 this month and my gf will be 20 in july so there's about a year and 4 months between us, it's not really a problem now but when she was in her second year of college and i was still in school, it was really embarrassing for her, which i can totally relate to. I don't think i would date anyone younger personally because they just seem immature in comparison to the older people i like to hang out with. 
*big cheesy grin*
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Re:What are your views over age gaps in relationships
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Date: 2006/11/20 05:52
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By: fallenangel
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I think that witin reason you should be able to date anyone no matter the age gap.
I've never come across it but I guess some people would be disgusted that my girlfriend is 8 years older than me, 8 years and 7months older.
I'm 21 and she is 29.
She doesn't look her age. When she fisrt told me I didn't beleive it until she showed me her ID, I thought she was only about 23-24.
I don't look 21, well I don't think so and the shops always ID me for cigs and alcohol and pubs do the same.
She doesn't act her age either! lol But that's not the point. She doesn't feel her age and I feel older than my age.
We don't have any problems with it.
Fall
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Re:What are your views over age gaps in relationships
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Date: 2006/11/20 12:57
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By: malc
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well i'm 17 and only go out with sombody between 15 - 19. nobody any older because that would be like going out with my sister who is 21.
And i'd only go out with a 15 year old if i felt that we could both trust each other. theres no point going out with sombody who dosn't have aything in common with you.
i would like to think that i could have a relationship that wasn't all about sex.
My parents split up when i was nine, and i think that it shows that trust is the hardest thing to find. My mum has re married and she is in her late 40 he is in his late 50. they get on ok I can't see the problem.
I think the problem that ppl have with age gapes when u are young is the metal difrence.it dosn't seam to matter as you get older.
It's a big debate and lot's of argument for and aganist. I don't think anyone can realy truly say what is write and wrong. it depends on the situationd and the ppl involved.
Malc
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