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problems with PDA (Public Displays of Affection)
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Date: 2006/08/01 17:44
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By: JanKenKid
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I've always had this question. Does it matter if you have PDA or not? It doesn't have to be a kiss or something. But would you hold hands outside anywhere, or somewhere you know it won't matter. I always wondered how a guy would react if you ignored him when he wanted to be affectionate. If you were the guy who wanted to hold hans but got rejected, how would you feel. And if you were the one who said no, how would you feel? I just had to ask.
Post edited by: dragonking, at: 2006/08/30 16:31
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Re:problems with PDA
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Date: 2006/08/01 18:58
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By: squidged
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Me, I'm all for PDA ... but i can understand some people not being so. But then again, I would kinda feel down if they didn't wanna hold hands.. especially if we were by ourselves walking down a street for example.
Life is like a sewer: What you get out of it, depends on what you put into it
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Re:problems with PDA
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Date: 2006/08/01 20:01
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By: Grey_Fox
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Whats a PDA? 
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Re:problems with PDA
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Date: 2006/08/01 22:30
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By: shadowbreaker9
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PDA is public display of affection. Personally, I don't have a problem with PDA as long as it's not extreme. I don't mind holding hands or a light kiss, but I don't think I ever want to make out in public. If my man doesn't want to have any PDA, I don't think I would be crushed by it, because love is a compromise. Might feel a little down, but I wouldn't want to make him uncomfortable.
"The country is run by extremists because moderates have shit to do." - John Stewart
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Re:problems with PDA
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Date: 2006/08/01 22:31
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By: squidged
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PDA = Public Display of Affection 
Life is like a sewer: What you get out of it, depends on what you put into it
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Re:problems with PDA
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Date: 2006/08/02 01:34
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By: Grey_Fox
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Ahh... Thats what it is. In that case, I agree with shadowbraker.
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Re:problems with PDA
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Date: 2006/08/13 02:17
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By: t0ny
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I can't say I'd have a huge deal with PDA, however it would have to be controlled. I don't think PDA is a problem with your partner- in most case- but a problem with socioty, which is not always understanding. However too much of it- whether you're straight or gay- is a little tacky. It has nothing to do with sexuality but just plain etiquitte.
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Re:problems with PDA
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Date: 2006/08/30 12:29
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By: dragonking
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Well i think too people with their tounges down each others throats is a littel rude.., but holding hands and lighter stuff like that i'm all for!
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Re:problems with PDA (Public Displays of Affection)
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Date: 2006/09/11 01:39
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By: modelbehavior
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holding hands is sweet regardless of orientation. I want to hold my man's hand in public someday when I get a boyfriend. It isn't hurting anyone. However, tongues down the throat is a little rude even of you are str8.
ready to uff
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Re:problems with PDA (Public Displays of Affection)
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Date: 2006/09/21 13:00
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By: boerseun
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As I page through all the pages on this site I notice that many gay guys have a problem with “closet cases”. And I am sorry for generelising, but I have noticed it from my gay friends as well.
I am not a closet case, well not exactly…
Let me say it this way: I don’t have a problem with being gay, but I don’t feel the need to “Out” myself at this stage of my life.
Yes, I am attracted to guys and no, girls have never crossed my mind, well not sexually. But if people ask me if I am gay or bi I say: “I am André.” Why do I have to put myself in a category?
So, why do I have to come out of the closet? I told my mother that I am attracted to men, but that’s where it ended. I go to gay clubs, but there are too many guys there who just want to fool around, so I just go to party.
If I was straight I would not go around advertising it, would I?! Why do I have to jump out of a closet and proclaim to the world that I like men?! Why can’t I just be? Be whatever. Be André.
My gay friends do not believe me anyway when I say I like boys; they say I am too straight. How can I be too straight?!?!
Because I don’t know who designed my shoes?!
I like watching Rugby, soaps are pathetic; I love having a braai instead of a French salad; I don’t use body cream and I don’t shave (or wax) my body hair. I shave with a electric and I don’t cleanse and tone; I don’t wear make-up, unless I have to when I am on set (film). I have never thought about how I would look in my mother’s dress and I don’t take hours to decide what shirt to wear. And I take pride in the fact that I am a old-fashioned gentleman. I will open the car door for you, whether you like it or not. And I will call you to ask you what you are thinking at that exact moment. I want to be the first thing on your mind when you wake up and the last thing you think about before you go to sleep. I am a man.
I am a hopeless romantic, I get hurt over and over, because I fall in love to easily, but I don’t care, its part of life. I will stand up and try again. I don’t like watching Romantic Comedies, because I study film-making and they are all so predictable; but I like holding someone while they watch it.
Why do gay guys (again: sorry for generalising) want me to be different?! I have not introduced one of my boyfriends to my family. Not because I am not a family man and not because I am ashamed. My family is my life, so when someone comes along that appreciates and loves me for who I am, the chances are good that I will introduce him to them. But why do I have to tell my family if no boy (of the 2 semi-serious relationships I’ve been in) has sticked with me long enough to give love a chance?! It only makes sense to introduce them to someone who is important to me and that I am important to. If my mother sees that the guy I am with adores me and doesn’t want to stop kissing me she will be happy – I know it.
So, in the meanwhile I will go on searching, without wearing a D&G belt. Is that so bad?
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Re:problems with PDA
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Date: 2006/09/21 13:01
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By: boerseun
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You are a inspiration.
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Re:problems with PDA (Public Displays of Affection)
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Date: 2006/09/22 06:06
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By: gayguy11
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i love light PDA's i mean holding hand's is good and some kissings but you have to know where to draw the line no matter what your sexual orentation
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Re:problems with PDA (Public Displays of Affection
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Date: 2006/10/11 19:50
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By: razzle.dazzle
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Because of where i live, i wouldnt dare show PDA, the people here are SO narrowminded you wouldnt belive it, with my ex we used to make out in the countyside aww how romantic and there was that time comming back from Newcastle on a coach lol, but in town i couldnt, no way.
Hey You, Could you give it a rest? Just take me home and get me undressed, Put on a fire and make it good enough, Oh we're geeks, but we know this is love.
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Re:problems with PDA (Public Displays of Affection
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Date: 2006/10/13 04:56
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By: Ureksa
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*conforms to the majority*
I have two lesbian friends who are a couple, and even I think it's cute when they hold hands. 
If I ever get a boyfriend, I won't have a problem with holding hands or just kissing... but no making out. >.< I see too much of that at school. Someday, I'm going to bring a frying pan and give people concussions for eating each other's faces in public.
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Re:problems with PDA (Public Displays of Affection)
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Date: 2006/10/20 06:19
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By: j0az
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depends on if you care if you want people to know your gay.Im alll for PDA but if your uncomfortable than dont.
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Re:problems with PDA (Public Displays of Affection
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Date: 2006/10/20 08:03
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By: tistria
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Post edited by: tistria, at: 2008/05/01 17:23
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Re:problems with PDA (Public Displays of Affection
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Date: 2006/10/20 15:41
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By: Artiste
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The way I see it, we're at war with the status quo. The sexual revolution, stifled somewhat in the thirties and forties, and revived in the sixties, continues still, and queers are the new avant garde. Perceptions will not change unless the public are confronted with the public homosexuality and are desensitised to it. I say YES everything public; except perhaps blowjobs in the park (that might be a bit much). But making out? YES! If nothing else, it is our responsibility to continue the job of the beat generation, hippies and all the other freedom fighters of the 20th century to make sexuality no longer a taboo topic or something to be DISGUSTED at!
Music that people with taste are listening to this week:
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Re:problems with PDA (Public Displays of Affection
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Date: 2006/10/21 10:07
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By: RG786
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Artiste wrote:
The way I see it, we're at war with the status quo. The sexual revolution, stifled somewhat in the thirties and forties, and revived in the sixties, continues still, and queers are the new avant garde. Perceptions will not change unless the public are confronted with the public homosexuality and are desensitised to it. I say YES everything public; except perhaps blowjobs in the park (that might be a bit much). But making out? YES! If nothing else, it is our responsibility to continue the job of the beat generation, hippies and all the other freedom fighters of the 20th century to make sexuality no longer a taboo topic or something to be DISGUSTED at!
You're missing the point, its about PDA overall. I don't like seeing straight people make out in public, and I don't like seeing gay people do it either.
You are confusing the lines of being open in public, and PDA. There is a difference. Being open would be letting the general populous assume or deduct that you are together. PDA would be showing it for sure, definetly.
For me, personally, I only like PDA when PDA is acceptable. I mean, I'm not going to kiss a guy just so the rest of the world sees it, only when I really want to or feel the need to!
Yay for being open in public, Boo for making a scene, for all types of people.
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Re:problems with PDA (Public Displays of Affection
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Date: 2006/10/21 12:34
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By: Artiste
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Yeah, I'm with you, but I get the shits with people who say "oh noes we're too oppressed to do anything in public". It's not so much about being raunchy in public simply because that’s stickin’ it to the man, but because if that’s what you and your partner want to do, being embarrassed of being gay shouldn’t stop you. If you want to kiss a guy in public, you shouldn't be uncomfortable about it. Ever. I was reading this article on Mogenic where some guy argued that gays can’t do the whole dating thing, starting in junior high like the rest of the chumps, and how standards about public affection are different, and that the gay individual and community as a whole suffer for it. Gave me the shits.
Music that people with taste are listening to this week:
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Re:problems with PDA (Public Displays of Affection
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Date: 2006/10/31 19:27
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By: fantacan
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Its not just Gay PDA. Any PDA in excess makes anyone uncomfortable. Seeing two guys making out, to me, is exactly the same as seeing a straight couple make out. (albeit a little more interesting). It's just asking for attention.
I personally wudn't go any further than a hug even tho i am out. I can just do without the attention because it does attract attention! even from other gay people who see you walking down the street holding hands and are interested. it's not the most uncommon thing.
I've known people who wouldn't even go as far as a hug and at the end of the day it's their choice. I completely understand and wouldn't take it as an insult at all. If you get to make out in private than isnt that showing that they do hav affection for you?
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