Okay, so my title was to draw attention a little bit, but it's relevent!

I've recently decided, over a long period of time with many issues, that I aren't bisexual but I am - in fact - a lesbian. Whilst I still thought I was bisexual, I slept with a guy who was a good friend. He fancied me then and still acts as though he does.
But I have the worlds most sensitive gardar when it comes to men (sadly, not so much for women, which would be useful!) and I know for a fact that he's most likely bisexual. I know he ignores it but I know he'd be much happier if he even tried considering what his sexuality is. His whole family is middle class and he's been raised with two brothers (he is the youngest), brought up with occasional weekend fishing trips with his dad and motorcycles. Basically, he's been brought up to think that any guy who isn't straight it bizzare.

If I brought the subject up outright, he'd either dig his heels in and be stubborn or he'd try and avoid me, either way ignoring the situation. What could I do to break it to him slowly? What can I do to make him consider it, make him think he's considering it of his own accord? Almost all my social group besides him is gay (but his isn't) and there's only one decent gay bar in town, New Union. What could I do?

hmm a toughie but just breech with gentally some how, when digs his heels in leave it, and say "ok but if you ever want to discuss this again, im here for you" and assure him it wont go further. Just you mentioning should get him to look at his feelings more, and IF he is. He'll come to you eventually of his own accord

Leave it alone. If he's been brought up to believe being gay is wrong, then I don't see much point in bringing it up when he seems to be happy enough being 'straight'.

I think that you should not be direct with him about being gay. Because as Bravolima has said, he will likely open up to a world of unhappiness if he still believes he is still straight as you say.

What you could do is help him open his eyes a little. You could be like "Let's go shopping" or something typically stereotypical of the gay community that he will realize is gay. This will help I suppose because the more he's exposed to the gay culture, so to speak, the more comfortable he will be to accept it.

I know the thread topic was to &quot;attract attention&quot; but have you considered that he's either straight or just doesn't want to come out?<br /><br />Post edited by: GNR7600, at: 2008/03/23 12:29

only do something if you are 100% sure he is gay/bi

if you have any other gay friends then i can give you advice, but otherwise - just let him be (though i can understand the joy of what you are doing)

how about just leave it and let him make his own descisions? im sure if he was he would tell you when he feels ready to..

Thank you all for the replies, some good points and ideas.

He does try act happy, but I can tell he's ignoring it and I know (because I know him very well, he's one of my best friends) that he isn't very happy at all when it comes to that sort of thing. That got my thinking though - if he'd be unhappy being gay because of the way he's been brought up, shouldn't I try make him see it's perfectly fine? I mean, he's NOT homophobic, so it won't be as hard as it could be to get him to realise his parents are closed minded and being gay is fine.

I don't know what he wants yet, but I'll find out. If it turns out he really wants to be gay and open with it, I'll create a new thread; he's 6f2in, toned and naturally blond. xD We really do look a right pair, me being a little cuddlier and almost a foot shorter.

Any more suggestions and game plans welcomed! Harsh critisizm will be thoroughly ignored. He's my best friend, I really want to make him happy, and I do know a few things about him. &lt;3