Hi everyone,

I told my dad last night (probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do), and his reaction was mixed I guess. When I instincitvely told him that I was sorry, he told me I didn't need to be sorry, and that he loves me no less.

That's great, but I also got the reaction which I'm told is pretty normal, "Lots of guys have gay experiences, and it doesn't mean your gay. Your outlook could change when you get older." I was crying so I couldn't really deflect it (I told him I knew since I was 13, but he still seemed to want to believe it could be a phase).

I'm told this is a pretty common reaction to expect, so can some people who've got this kind of reaction give me some insight into what things are like months or years from when you first told them? Is it 6 months down the road and your parents are attending gay pride with you in your city? Or on the other end is it 3 years down the road, and your parents still haven't accepted that it isn't going away?

Heyy, congrats on telling yur parents!
Anyway, I kinda came out to mine 3 months ago and don't really speak about it, they both cried and the next day they acted like nothing happened. Whenever I try to bring it up they just say its a phase, how they can know themselves is something I have no idea on. Back to your point, I guess the 'phase' thing varies from parent to parent but mine lasted until yesterday when I tore up the women poster on my wall to prove my point, now they kinda like ok, your gay. Hope it helps,
Sam x

Well now you have two choices:
1) To be confident and stick with coming out and staying out
If you're confident enough, tell your dad that your sure that it ISN'T a phase, and that this is who you are, and you're happy about it. Nothing will change about you in the future at all; you'll still remain your father's son.

or

2) To allow your parents to overpower you and send you back in the closet. Sadly, the latter is what happened to me, and it hurt having to pretend again after attempting to come out. DON'T Let this happen to you! Just be confident in who you are. DON'T apologize for being gay -- there's nothing to apologize about! Also, apologizing can give a parent fuel for arguments against you -- when I told my parents that I was sorry, it certainly worked against me!

Question: Are you out to your friends/Others? If you are, then you can change your facebook/myspace/whateverspacebook status to "Interested in: Men", which can reinforce the understanding that you are gay.

I hope that I helped a bit ^__^;;.

Best of luck to you!

~ Kyle

Thanks for the advice so far, guys…

I talked to my dad again the night before last. I told him that I appreciate him listening to me, but that I want him to know that it isn’t going away. That I understand what he means when he says lots of straight guys have gay experiences and stuff, but that I’m 16 and have never been attracted to girls, so I would have a pretty good idea for myself. I told him that this was the hand I was dealt, and that I’m comfortable with it.

He seemed to understand.

It was mentioned already, but one thing I will NEVER do again is apologize for being gay. I did that without thinking about it, and it really is ridiculous…

Well i'm glad that things are going well for you so far ^__^.

Hopefully everything else wil go well for you!

~ Kyle

well good for you coming out.

even if he still thinks its a phase at lest now you can start looking for a bf and not have to worry what your dad will be thinking.