Ok right, i kinda want to come out to a friend but to keep it on the down low.. i dont want it to get out of hand in the school..but i've suspicions that hes gunna tell his other friends.. but i kinda feel like i need to tell him..and whens the best time for me to come out to my family..as my dad is really homophobic

Hey,
I dont think its kewl to tell someone if they should or should not come out. But from the experience of outing myself....i have some thoughts on it. More than anything, I think its important that YOU are totaly comfortable with yourself. I dont mean that you have to be super confident and the like....i mean more that your comfortable....and ok with you being gay. I think im a bit different than alot of people on here because when i decided to come out....i decided to go all the way with it....pretty much within a week i had come out to my rents....then to everyone at school. For me....it just seemed alot easier....not to have to worry about if one person i told....would tell another....then another. And to be honest with ya.....that was probly a stupid way to do it...but oh well. There are some REALLY good resources on the web....and you have probly already looked into it......but it can give you some perspective on what to expect from other people.....and give you some good ideas on things NOT tod do. I will give you a link to one of them....there are some really good links there as well. www.uwstout.edu/student/out/tips.html
I have some other ones as well, if you want them let me know...but on there links page....most of the other ones i know about are there. Good luck on whatever you decide to do.....and if you ever wana talk....hit me up anytime!
Jordan

wot i dont get is why it feels lyk such a big deal n stuf but it shudnt have to be coz its just another part of me just lyk wot my frends and family lyk me 4 now.
i mean, iv told a few ppl im gay n 2 of them fort i was jokin n the other sed it was my choice n not thers but they didnt wana lyk me nemor. wiv my best m8 (girl btw) it seems realy dificult 2 talk bout it even tho she sez shes 'okaay' wiv it n i duno wot to do next n im all confused

I'm quite fortunate in that everyone I've told thought it was fine and even great. It was a big deal at first, I was on a ferry to France and thought it was a funny place to come out for the first time, in the middle of the English Channel lol. So I gathered a group of mates in a resteraunt and told them then lol. I feel loads better now thought and find it a lot easier. I can be more open and am less restricted. Everyone at school knows and they're all fine. Hope that's helped XD x

Hey.... I have one of the best, or at least 'better' scenarios.

My parents and my sister are great, and I already know they'd be fine with me being bi, and most of my friends would be kewl with it (some already know, and all of them are all ekwl with it).... Although, I haven't had any experience with someone NOT being okay with it, and even though my family is kewl with it, how should I approach them with it?

Like, I don't want to sit down at dinner and just randomly be like "Oh yeah, btw guys I'm bi"....

Any help is appreciated.

Jake

Hm... well, coming out is a deep and personal choice, but my advice: what makes you wary of this friend? I mean, has he told people stuff about you before? You could test it, like tell him something about yourself, and then ask him not to tall anyone, and see what he does. If he doesn't tell anyone, well, then he's probably trustworthy. But if you don't trust him not to tell anyone, and you don't want anyone else to know, then coming out to him might not be a great idea.
As for your family, how is your dad homophobic? Is he just mildly homophobic (i.e. "Oh, yeah, those gay people are so weird LOL!!&quot or severely homophobic (i.e. "ARG!! I HATE GAY PEOPLE I HOPE THEY ALL GO TO HELL AND I NEVER WANT TO BE AROUND ONE-&quot If it's the latter, then my personal suggestion would be don't come out if you don't feel safe. It might be best to come out when you've moved out of the house, or when you are away from your parents. If he's the former, then I'd ask if your home enviorment is stable? Are your parents generally loving, caring people? That's when it might be safer to come out when you're still at home... I've met many former homophobic people whose opinions change when someone they know is gay.
In the end, it biols down too: Would you be comfortable living as a gay/bi/trans/whatever individual at home? Are you comfortable with the idea, in general of coming out with your Dad living with you? Good luck. [sorry this ended pretty abruptly xD]