I only became a member of gyc yesterday but i've been reading everyones advice on coming out to friends and family etc and it's been really really helpful! Despite all, though, I still can't pluck up the courage to tell anyone that im gay... Any more words of wisdom greatly appreciated!

btw can someone tell me how i do everything here like coz i dont know!<br /><br />Post edited by: musicman15, at: 2007/09/16 03:52

I don't really know if this counts as wisdom, it would certainly be unusal for me if it was, but anyway...

I think one of the most important points of coming out is that you only do it when you're ready to come out and when you feel 100% comfortable about it, you should never feel pressured to come out just because you &quot;have to&quot;, you should WANT to come out because you feel the time is right and you're okay with doing so.

So if you don't quite have the courage yet, maybe put it off for a bit until you do, or if you want to start then you could just.. drop hints that you're gay so that people might slowly catch on (easing them into it), i know i never really came out to my first group of people, i just confirmed what they all already thought anyway.

When you DO come out, i think it's always best to do it face to face, i don't go with all this &quot;write a letter&quot; etc stuff, i think it's important that you're there to answer any questions that they will probably want to ask you, and you also need to be prepared to answer those questions too, however much you don't want ot. I'd also not make too much of a big deal as you do, make it casual, as if it's just some thing, after all, you're still a normal guy you just happen to be gay, no big deal.

I agree with most of what Jaden said, though I will suggest you start small, as in a very good friend who you can count on keeping a secret, so you can come out to other peoelp in your own time. It is also best to suss out their attitudes first as well (be carefull you are'nt too obvious what you are doing though) as otherwise you could end up in an awkward situation.

I hope that that helps you a bit more, I don't know what else to say really, other than don't be brash after tellign one or two people (It happened to me and the whole school found out )

Just with what Jaden said about not coming out till you're 100% sure, good advice do what you're comfortable with. I found that when I first told my best mate I wasn't 100% absolutely certain I was gay, I told her I was gay but then when we were talking I told her I also had doubts sometimes. It really helped to have someone to talk to and get feedback on my feelings, its what allowed me to be 100% certain, lol. I think when you're coming out of denial and still alittle confused you've got so many thoughts going around in your head it helps to have a friend to sought through it all with. Well that's what I found anyway...