I know I am gay or at least mostly gay. A few of my friends know. I know that the majority of people, including my parents and friends would be fine with me being gay but I am still holding back. I think I just don't want the baggage that goes along with the whole world knowing that I'm gay but I also hate playing being straight and into girls. Any words of wisdom or personal stories?<br /><br />Post edited by: joe, at: 2007/08/11 20:57

Joe-

Hey... that's cool that a few of your friends know... that's how I started my 'coming out' process too. I'm a Philly college kid (20 y/o) and am out to my friends &amp; pretty much anyone that asks. I'm not loud about it, it's not something I discuss much w/ friends, but it is a part of who I am. When I think about the &quot;baggage&quot; of being gay, it is virtually non-existant now.
Think of it this way... although being gay is a part of who I am, it doesn't define who I am. Not to say I'm not proud of that aspect of my life, but what defines me is being a fun, caring, motivated guy. What defines me is my goals in life, my interests, and my friendships. What defines me is NOT labels like &quot;streight&quot; or &quot;gay&quot;. Don't let labels stop you from being who you really are.
One last note... until last year I was still trying to have relationships with girls in some hopeless attempt to be &quot;streight.&quot; It caused alot of hurt feelings. Even if you're not ready to come out (which I totally 100% understand) I would try and not go out w/ any more girls.

Best of Luck,
Andrew

Hello Joe!

My name is Will and I hope I can offer you some advice, even it doesn't help at all! It was the same with me, I knew my friends would be fine about it, and I definately knew that my smothering mother and my buddhist father would be fine about it, but there was always the nervousness of telling them, but I finally got round to telling them all and now its really good, I can be myself, and may I also add, I want the whole world to know that i'm 'FAB'

Now to the issue to the 'baggage', as far as i've come, I've not really gotten much baggage, I can be myself and its lovely, but the baggage is there and the 'baggage' will come, its just a way of life and I doubt it'll go anytime soon, I hope I helped somehow?!

Will x

I came out to my close friends my senior year of high school. By the end of the year I was openly gay to anyone who asked, just no one really asked. Haha.
I would tell girls I became friends with I was gay almost immediately. Just because I felt it would make them more comfortable around me and I wouldn't have to worry about leading them on. I used to wait to tell guy friends after they knew me as a person, so that they wouldn't be uncomfortable around me.
Now that I'm in college, the only people that care that I'm gay are girls or gay guys who are interested in me. And it's no big deal. I don't have to worry about being stereotyped as the token gay kid, because people look beyond that. I'm finally comfortable with being gay and not caring so much whether people approve of me or not.

Mate, just go for it. i came out early last year ... well was forced out but thats a different story lol ... theres nothing better than when your family tells you that they're completely behind you and will continue to love and support you all the way. trust me. good luck!