I don't know why I am posting this really, it's not very interesting but I guess I need to write this to let off some steam and gather my thoughts about what happened.

Friday night went out with a friend of mine who is lesbian. She had problems herself coming out, and we are quite close, so I always thought, if I was going to tell someone about my situation then it would be her.

Since I think about my feelings everyday I always knew I would tell her first but had no plans of mentioning it yesterday. That is why I am still kinda in a bit of shock and feeling a bit silly/sh*tty about it all really.

So, we sat down in a club/bar in town, and we were drinking (alcohol). After the first drink she said we should play a little game of question and answer. In my mind I thought that this could be an opportunity to sneak in something about my feelings.

So I asked her, 'when did you first noticed that you were a lesbian'. Her question to me was, 'when did you first realise you were straight?' ..and I kinda went a bit quite and took way to long over answering the question (thinking of a tactful answer without mentioning my true feelings), so by that time she knew something was a bit dodgy (so at that point I just thought, f*ck it), and then I kinda said something along the lines of, 'I'm not really sure what I am'.

She kinda seemed a tad shocked because she said that she had absolutely no idea, didn't expect a thing, and as the conversation progressed I kinda said that I find both sexes attractive and just generally how confused/down I sometimes was about it all, I said that it kinda explained why I would sometimes drink on my own etc, etc.

She also spoke about a lot of her experiences too and I learnt a lot of things about her I didn't know, guess the whole spontaneous, completely unexpected and unplanned conversation made us a bit closer.

..so that's it. I woke up this morning with a hangover thinking why did I mention it and feeling really silly. But I don't think these feelings will ever go, so I guess a little bit of me makes me think I did make the right choice in mentioning it.

As for what I do now, I have no clue, she told me not to 'label' myself until I was really sure, and I kinda understand. But the whole thing happened so unexpectedly that it isn't anywhere near as epic as some of these other 'coming out' stories on the net where people have planned a time and a place etc, etc.

Sorry for the long post, had to mention it on here as so many things are going through my head at the mo.

Cheers for taking the time to read this.
Luke

First of all, congratulations for your first coming out. Mine was somehow difficult, though it was a straight friend who pulled it out of me after a glass of whisky. Secondly, I perfectly know the feeling of weirdness, it goes off in time. I remember when I came out to two persons in the same night... jeez, thought I was gonna be sick the next morning because I was so damn nervous and somehow afraid of what I had done.

And I perfectly understand why you wrote this. You wanted to share it with us! That's simply great, and I am glad you did it. There is no advice I have to give you, because your friend has kinda said it all. Be careful whom you tell, what you tell... and hell, maybe have some cover-up replies in case you are not spontaneous enough to lie if you're not ready to come out yet. Have a nice day!

-Mihai

yeah man not sure why you're feeling down about it all. i mean she seemed to take it great, you shuld feel good about it all.

Well, I kinda feel happy that if need be I do have someone to talk about my feelings with. But I don't feel like a massive weight has come off my shoulders which is weird.

Is it because it was so spontaneous/unexpected? (i.e. I didn't have it planned at all, it just came out in conversation) Or is it because there are so many other people who don't know and I feel deep down I can't tell?

It's a strange feeling, I just feel weird about it all. It's just an empty feeling I have inside me at the mo

Luke, Don't appolagise for posting here thats what it's for. I kinda felt the same way when I first came out to my parants. Was I doing the right thing was I realy gay.

I first came out when I was 16, I'm know 18 and have almost come out to everyone. I still find it hard to talk to my parents about my feelings. I recently wrote them an email telling them how I felt because I didn't feel that io could tell them face to face. I feel so much better.

Things happen un expectidly. But maybe somethigs are for the best

Hi Luke
You've said: " It is slightly depressing when I think about it, so I am just wondering if anyone has any advice or whether I am not the only person on here who kinda feels that way. What is even more depressing is that I really do want to be in a relationship ie. just be with someone etc, etc. "

I really felt I should post here, because I have been there as well, and although I am not in that situation now; I fell in love with someone who is, and have helped him through this as well. I know exactly what you mean by it being depressing wanting to just be with someone, I am in a melancholy mood at the moment feeling the same. The person I helped out has now got it sorted out in his head, and bless him, he has accepted that he is straight after all. It takes a lot of talking and clearing up in your head, and discovering what you really feel - it took said above person a long time, but it helps a lot with someone to talk to.

Like I say, if you need any help, there may be someone in your current surroundings already that you can turn to, but if not, you can talk to me if you wish.

Cheers for that Ben, really appreciate your comments.