hey, i'm 16, a junior in high school, in a school of 2,000 students in a Chicago suburb town of 21,000+. I'm already out to 2 friends, and my parents and family. I have this urge to come out to the school, I hate having to not be myself. There's some problems though, such as I'm not the kind who likes to draw attention to myself in anyway. i'm a sort of indifferent person, definetly not popular, but also not hated. i'm cool with almost everybody. so i just feel like i need to free myself so i can live an honest truthful and happy rest-of-high-school life. I don't know if i want to do it my junior year or not. but i want to do it before i graduate.

also another dilema, i want to go and attend a GSA meeting, but right now i'm in a sport so i can't skip practice, and second, i'm really scared. I don't know why, but its like i'm forcing myself to come out to whoever's gonna be in GSA. and i'm not sure, but i assume GSAs are all confidential meaning that nothing will get leaked out of what goes on in there, altho i'm sure its not garunteed. but yeah i'm kind of scared to even set foot in there.

i'm not sure what to do. any help, advice is appreciated.

OMG! No way! This same EXACT situation happened with me before (except for the sport, but everything else is the same). Okay, here's what I did.

I just started being myself. I didn't "act" at all, just talked about whatever I wanted to with my friends. I talked about cute guys, gay sex, and all that other good stuff (I still do of course). When people asked if I was gay, I didn't lie and simply said "yes".

About the GSA, I was TOTALLY scared too! I'm only in my second meeting and it's still scary (I don't know ANYBODY there, and all of them are friends with each other, so I'm kinda the odd man out). You just gotta be confident and suck it up when meeting those people. Who cares what they think, you want to help the gay community! Anyway, don't know what to tell ya about the sports issue, hope you figure sumthin out. That's my $0.02...

Often, one of the most important things about GSAs is to maintain confidentiality. GSAs are often safe spaces, and it's very important that what is discussed in GSAs stays in the meetings, and not discussed elsewhere.

Scheduling conflicts are very unfortunate, but there often isn't too much you can do about it.

Although my mantra is always "safety first" - if you don't think you can handle a negative fallout properly, or if you believe that you are risking a highly negative fallout, then it's likely not worth coming out.

Hey,
As usual, i dont give advice about if someone should come out or not....we are all different. But, in reading your piece, sure sounds like you are ready. I understand your nervousness about the GSA for sure....but let me tell you my experience. I came out 2 years ago and as a result i lost most all my "friends". (btw...i come from a small town..with small town attitudes). Ok....so...i was feeling pretty lonely. We, at the time did not have a gsa at my school...but my counselor told me that the other hs did...and arranged for me to go to there meetings......i was scared shitless, but went. I met, THE MOST AMASSING people ever!!!!!!!! I dont want to sound overly dramatic, but it changed my life. To be able to go someplace and be with people like myslelf....witht he same fears and the like. Most everyone there im really close with and i love them all. I duno....it gave me confidence i didnt know i had. This year i started a GSA at my school...and it is slowly growing (they still let me go to the meetings at the other school). And by the way...its not like a big counseling gig or wutever. We have outings, plan and organize community events like the day of silence, have picnics, basically we do everything everyone else does. I feel safer at the GSA than anyplace. I duno, if you can gather the courage to go, I hope your experience with it is as great as mine has been. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best!!!!!!
Love, Jordan

yeah i might hold off until next year and start fresh so I won't be the only new kid (other freshmans, people thinking like i am, and what not). after gymnastics ends i still have like a little more than half a month of school left so there might be a couple more meetings.

and today in gymnastics, the guys were talking about girls and shit, and then inevitably they asked me stuff, like u ever messed around with a girl and what not. i told them no and it was sorta whatever, but then they went on about like how i should go to China (i'm Chinese) and try and get a girl and shit like that, and it'd be 'perfect' for me. that second part was said by one of my good friends, who's real honest and true. so i really wanted to come out to him, cuz i trust him. but there were other people there so it wasn't a good time.

anyways, that little incident just made me want to come out more. i think i might try and come out to this friend, and maybe one more. and maybe it will leak out, and i guess that'll be good and bad. but that way might be easier. ahhh life's a bitch, im not sure on what exactly to do.

safety isn't a big issue i don't think. i have this "i don't care what other people think about me" attitude, but truth is, everybody somewhat cares. most people in the school ends up going to college in state and around the area, and end up getting some lame job back in the same town and never really do that much with their lives. I have dreams, though, and want to be the one that follows it and achieve it. I want everybody to know who i truly am and that I can achieve my dreams.

yeah i might hold off until next year and start fresh so I won't be the only new kid (other freshmans, people thinking like i am, and what not). after gymnastics ends i still have like a little more than half a month of school left so there might be a couple more meetings.

and today in gymnastics, the guys were talking about girls and shit, and then inevitably they asked me stuff, like u ever messed around with a girl and what not. i told them no and it was sorta whatever, but then they went on about like how i should go to China (i'm Chinese) and try and get a girl and shit like that, and it'd be 'perfect' for me. that second part was said by one of my good friends, who's real honest and true. so i really wanted to come out to him, cuz i trust him. but there were other people there so it wasn't a good time.

anyways, that little incident just made me want to come out more. i think i might try and come out to this friend, and maybe one more. and maybe it will leak out, and i guess that'll be good and bad. but that way might be easier. ahhh life's a bitch, im not sure on what exactly to do.

safety isn't a big issue i don't think. i have this "i don't care what other people think about me" attitude, but truth is, everybody somewhat cares. most people in the school ends up going to college in state and around the area, and end up getting some lame job back in the same town and never really do that much with their lives. I have dreams, though, and want to be the one that follows it and achieve it. I want everybody to know who i truly am and that I can achieve my dreams.

ive recently come out at my school

i get shit shouted at me everywhere i go but i have the drama studio where i hang out with all the ppl hu take GCSE drama etc and heyve really help

its a relife to come out at school tho cos i spent months denying it and i didnt want to anymore

hoe tis helps in sum way