I really fancy my mate, but he's straight! He knows I'm gay, and he's totally cool, but I fear that if I tell him I love him, he won't be my friend any more. Do you think it's best to keep my love secret and stay best friends, instead of risking it all for something that (most likely) won't happen?

I had a similar problem at one point, i didn't know whether to say anything or not.
eventually i did and it put a dent in our friendship, he doesn't trust me as much as he used to and he always seems more wary around me but then he is the kind of guy who runs around telling people who i like
It really depends on how close you are, if you make jokes about it and see his reaction then it might gauge how he would take it, but if he says hes straight then the only reason you might want to tell him is to explain yourself if you feel awkward around him apart from that i would avoid it if i were you

If he's definitely straight, I really wouldn't recommend telling him. It's not like telling him will turn him gay. It'll just make your friendship a lot more awkward. I prefer to keep friendships and love life separate for this very reason.

If he knows your gay, and hasn't told you he is then there is a very, very good chance he is straight, therefore telling him won't get you what you want. My advice would be just to leave it, and realise you probably only fancy him because he is your mate (if you see what I mean).

When I read this thread's subject, the first thing that came to mind was: "NOOOOOO! DON'T DO IT!"
In my opinion, don't EVER EVER EVER fall in love with your straight friend. Yeah, it's a lot easier said than done, but make things up in your mind to make him seem like the worst possible choice ever. You liking your straight best friend will only end up in a lot of hurt. That's why I avoid it entirely. Even when he touches me.

I told one of my straight best friends i had a crush on him. now we're closer than we ever were.<br /><br />Post edited by: Smallpirate, at: 2008/05/21 08:28

I'm kind of dealing with the same thing right now. I don't think I would ever tell him, bacause he's straight, and the only thing I think it would accomplish is making things awkward.

This must be a really common problem though. Think about it. Two guys are already really emotionally close, one of them is gay, what's keeping him from falling for the straight one? Of course it doesn't always happen, but it's easy to see why it would.

*rolls eyes* I'm a girl, but hey it's the same thing really. I kept it completely to myself and thought I was coping okay, then a couple of weeks ago one of my other mates asked me about it directly and I was so shocked I told them. Surprisingly, chatting about it a bit has let me see just how stupid it is, and I've found that I'm getting over her twenty times quicker than I'd have imagined possible; I've had feelings for her for years! So no, I wouldn't recommend telling him because it might damage your friendship, but talking to someone might actually help, even if you don't expect it to (it took me completely by surprise). xxx

I've been through exactly the same thing myself right now. If he knows your gay and okay with it, he would have told you he was, which would make it a hell of A LOT easier for you. To be honest darling, it's unlikely he'll like you back as much as you like him, although the guy I like sometimes flirts, I think it's just to see my reaction .

Much love and luck!

x

i've been there, except i really thought he might be gay too so it was quite a shock when i told him and he said he wasnt it didnt really make things awkward though, obviously it took me a long while to get over him but apart from that everything was normal. the fact that he later got a gf didnt exactly make it easier but it did finalise the fact that it wasnt going to happen

i agree with Abi, talking to someone else about it really helped me