Me and my bf have bin seein eachother since just before new year and everything was going along nicely until a few weeks ago. He met a lad off the internet and they went for a meal just as friends, and as usual i got jealous and began not trusting him, because i thought he was going to do something behind my back, anyways he said that they were jus friends and that i had to trust him, so eventually i came around and decided it wasnt anything to be bothered about. I told him i still didnt trust him, and he kept saying i had to trust him because he wouldnt ever do anything behind my back. So the other day he slept at mine and whilst he was in the shower i looked at his fone, and found messages from wen he was out on wednesday, and one message was from a lad that said ' i wanted to kiss youall night' so i looked at my bfs reply and it said ' awww u shudda , i was starin at u from across the room all night'. so wen he got out the shower i went off it with him, he said nothing happened and it was just a txt and it meant nothing. Now i cant stop thinking about it, and everytime hes not on msn or txtin me, im thinkin hes gunna be with another lad. Has anyone got any advice?<br /><br />Post edited by: 1987dave, at: 2008/02/25 13:10

This is precisely the sort of thing I'm worried will happen if and when I get a bf. Not to say that I'm paranoid (I probably would be though lol-I'm pretty insecure and have never had a bf), but infidelity seems to be so prevalant amongst the gay community (and in all other communities, for that matter). Personally, I could never trash someone unless I had a well-founded reason and talked it over with them, so as to maintain the relationship at at least a 'friend' status. I think what he's doing is incredibly insensitive, inconsiderate, cowardly and creul, and I am truly sorry that you must suffer as a victim of this jerk's whims. Well, at least you now know his true nature-I say that if he has shown the tendency to act on infidelidous notions, he's not worth your time. Simply put, he obviously cannot be trusted-and with all these deadly STD's floating around, one cannot afford not to know who his/her partner has truly been with. Wow, that really sucks-I know exactly what you mean when you say that it never seems to leave your mind... You must ask yourself though, do you really want to stay in a relationship where you'll constantly be forced to look over your shoulder, to make sure he's not getting physically intimate with other guys? I, for one, couldn't handle that kind of emotional and mental burden-I'm sure you have better things to concern yourself with as well. There are plenty of other fish in the sea (all though I've yet to catch one of my own, with +3 billion guys out there, there's bound to be a good one somewhere)-keep your chin up, and good luck toughing this one through...

The prick can say nothing happened all he wants, if he's flirting with this other guy through texts, then that IS your business, and it doesn't mean jack shit if nothing actually happened that particular time.

He broke your trust; he tells you to trust him, ask him for a bloody good reason to trust him now.

Awwwww. If I were you, I would not have confronted him about it the moment I found out. You should have waited for the next few days and saw if more obvious texts showed up on his phone. (Like, &quot;Gosh, I really enjoyed that kiss&quot; or even &quot;Man, you really know how to work a guy&quot Then you would know for sure if he was cheating on you or not. Just for future reference!

Dump his ass.

To be quite honest with you, and this reply is different from the other four above me, I think you need to take a deep breath and relax. The first thing about relationships is that it takes two person to build a relationship and relationships can only last if there is trust between the two of you. By being paranoid about your relationship, it will only lead to the future inevitable &quot;breaking up&quot; stage and that, I assume, is not what you want. It is true that you may be worried and in some instances, &quot;thinking&quot; that your boyfriend is cheating on you for another lad. Well, if you feel as such, maybe you could ask him to take you out with him while he's having dinner or lunch with his friend. That way, you can decide whether or not that 'friend' is a threat. Furthermore, put yourself in your boyfriend's shoes. Imagine if you had a good gay friend and you went out with him to lunch or dinner, and just as a joke or some whimsical chat, you guys were talking about kissing or something along those lines, how would you want your boyfriend to react? Would you want him bolstering at you every minute or everytime you received a text from your gay friend? There's so many angles that you may not have considered and I think that a healthy relationship is built basically upon trust. No trust equals to unhealthy relationships that 99% of the times, causes breaking up. Sorry to say, but just take some time alone with your boyfriend and talk to him about your delima and not question him as if he were a prisoner. It'll do you some good!!! Hope it works out.