Hello everyone: Lately I've had a crush on this guy that goes to my church, I don't know if he is gay or not so this might not even matter, we have been friends for a while, and I really like him, and was hoping we could become more than friends. Anyways the thing im worried about is that he is only just turned 13, I am 17 (turn 18 in July). I'm normally not attracted to people this young, but he and I have a lot of the same intrests, and have similar personalities. He is also very mature for how young he is most 13 year olds just act like idiots (no offense to anyone on this board who is 13). I was just wondering if you all thought it was okay for me to even be considering this guy? I hope i don't sound like a peodophile or something beause this has never happened to me before. Anyways, do you think i'm to old for this guy? What are you feelings on age gaps in relationships? And btw i was also considering just staying friends with him for right now and waiting until he is 14,15 to consider dating him. Anyways hope you can help me and thanks in advance for your advice/ support.

Hi Mate!
Personaly I think you should stay mates until he's 14 or 15, like you said.
But then again, i could be one of those 13 year olds
Anyway, good luck in whatever direction you go in.
Cheers,
Beau

P.S:

QUOTE:
....He is also very mature for how young he is most 13 year olds just act like idiots (no offense to anyone on this board who is 13)....

The keyword there is most

If you do decide to date him - even when he's 14 or 15 - you're going to come under considerable pressure from all sides: His friends, your friends, family (if/when they find out), and even yourself and him, all because of the age difference.

Bear in mind the fact that you'll be over the age of consent and he'll be (a lot) under it. I know you may not want sex with him, but it will be an argument that will come up.

But, all things being said, it's about you and what's in your heart, so follow that. Just bear in mind the real world as well.

Oh, and find out if he's gay

Well mate, I am going to give you my personal opinion.

I really do believe that you are too old for him. He might seem mature but nevertheless there is still a huge psychological, physical and emotional differences between the two of you.

I am pretty much biased in this view because I have a nephew the same age as this guy and if anyone touched him...lets just say I won't be very happy to say the least.

Anyhow, I wish you all the best in whatever decision you take.
Cheers.

also when you turn 18 I'm pressuming (like in most countries) you become a legal adult, and a gay adult dating someone underage NEVER goes down well in a western society.

Just be a really good friend to him, and if you think it's worth it, wait till he's older. I definitely think he's to young though

good luck though *hugs*

Personally, I would not wan't to date someone that much older than me.
It would actually scare me if someone like 4 or 5 years older than me asked me out.
So I'm thinking, he might say yes because he dosen't want to offend you, but at the same time he'd be very uncomfortable with it.

i think he's kinda young for dating but if he's gay and has a crush on u, why not...
some gayz prefere older guyz so u have a chance...
but now the most difficult part: how would u know that he's gay?

I also think that you're a tad too old and I'm one of those guys who dates anyone older than him..But way older but the thing about dating so much more younger are the laws and social pressures


Wait tilll he's old enough if you really like, as they say absitinence makes the hear grow fonder

i'd say, well idk what it is where you are but here if you do anything like even just making out before he's 16 you could get in some major trouble and with him being that much younger the pressure of the age difference is going to be crazy (speaking from experience) my girlfriend is 18, 19 next month and i'm 16, 17 in April and you would not believe how often the age difference gets brought up, and it's hardly even anything but her mom thinks she's a pervert for dating me
So deffinantly figure out if he's gay first and then, ... watch your bck if you do deside to go out with him
good luck

this is a difficult one...
on the one hand age is jsut a number - if the earth was like further from the earth you'd be the same age (thats all age is - number of times earth has gone around the sun and you've been on it) but the issue here i think is maturity... he's still developing and is probably still finding himself.
it'd be wise to wait until he's a little older - say 15 or 16?
the age gap will still be the same, but he'll know what he wants, and will know more about himself. that would probaby make the relationship so much better anyway.
the second issue is jsut that - the relationship. you don't even know if he's gay - and he may not either...
you should pursue a friendship, maybe - but don't let yourself get too strong feelings for him- it'll hurt you!
hope all goes well. good luck