Hey there! I write poetry, and I've always liked this one here that I've written. It's about the holocaust. Tell me what you think!
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Yahweh
By Jeff Coté


The compound outside,
Built with beautiful brick and stone,
Covered with frothy snow.

The people outside,
Watching and guarding,
Have none to worry.

The compound inside,
Filthy and rabid.

People covered in sweat and ashes,
Cramped together as one.

A girl sits in pain.
Scared out of her mind.

With the rats running on the floor below,
The pure disease sitting in her hair.
Slowing is the blood in her veins.

Her eyes start to shut,
And her life starts to end.
Seven others in the bed,
All in the same bend.

Dirty sheets and a small cramped room.
700 bodies attempting to sleep in 50 beds

While typhus and ticks scurry on her body,
Feasting already on her flesh,
She died that night.
And she died in vain.

Even with the memoirs of Frank, Spiegelman and Wiesel,
Of the conspiracies to happen next, no one could tell.

People can deny,
People may shy from truth.

But only they know it,
May Yahweh bless their souls.

this is a very deep poem what made you think of it what inspired you

"Her eyes start to shut,
And her life starts to end....
...She died that night.
And she died in vain."

I love those lines. It just makes you sad when you read them. I think ur info can be a bit.....i dunno....did they even give them beds and sheets?

Its very good in general.....although i fink your structure can be improved....and the way you word it. But apart from that its a very deep and moving poem well done

Beautiful. Dark. It left me speechless. I'm a writer too, and even though I atempt to write like you, I haven't yet. Bravo!

Thanks so much! I was inspired to write this when I read the novel "Maus" by Art Spiegelman. It's a very powerful memoir, and it's enlightening to read.

To "Djmno3": Thanks so much for your comments. I'm glad to know that people appreciate my work. In answer to your question about the holocaust, I believe all was provided for prisoners was a flat mattress on pine wood. No sheet to my knowledge. Also, the beds were bunk beds, mattresses about the size of a queen. Yet it was documented that as much as 10 people would sleep on each one mattress alone. I do agree that the structure of the poem is lacking, which is something I need to improve on... I'm glad you liked it though.

To "Prwriter24": Thanks so much! Your poetry might be good too! A lot of people really know their ways with words and you might be one of them.