The Gay Youth Corner - Coming Out to Your Friends

By now you are probably used to keeping it a secret and are thinking you don’t need to come out. It is probably true, there is no need. But remember you do not know what it feels like to be out. The burden of your secret may be greater than you think. You’ll be surprised about how different you feel being out. There are some needs though. This ‘promotion’ is an ideal and this is not always achieved straight away. It is a good idea to get it off your chest and there is no right way of doing this but there are wrong ways. You should think carefully about who, when and how you tell people.

Are you….?

Before coming out it is important that you are comfortable with your sexuality. Are you? It probably seems as if everyone is slightly homophobic. This is not necessarily the case. Many people express homophobic (anti-gay) attitudes because they – like you – have been exposed to those opinions for a long time and will think nothing of it.

Homophobia makes us feel uncomfortable with the idea of being gay. In our generation it’s often seen as un-cool to be different. This immature ideals of the world will not go away but in accepting your sexuality 100%, telling your friends will not feel like telling them you are a freak, but that you are a secure gay person. You should understand and be comfortable with your own sexuality in the same way that you will want the people that you tell to be comfortable and understanding.

Being gay is not all about the sexual act. You know this and I know this. Some people do not. Some people are ‘turned-off’ when they hear about gay-related issues. This may be because they are thinking of the act of gay sex. When you tell people it should be explaining how you feel towards guys and girls in both non sexual ways as well – explain your real desires. You’re allowed to be emotional when you come out!

Emotions are good but do not come out simply to spite someone, to make a point or to get the sympathy vote. Come out for yourself and not to harm other people. For example it may seem easier to tell someone who fancies you, but it will damage them. Another example: some people may want more attention from their social group. Doing this is likely to harm you and have a far greater impact on you than it will on other people....

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