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Everyone seems to have a different opinion on the matter of age. Is it ok to date someone who is significantly older or younger than you are? When does it matter? Why? These are a few questions that crop up.
Where does the issue stem from? In terms of dating, concern about age exists when it is between the very young – say sixteen or so – and the significantly older – say twenty six and upwards. But what is a ‘significant’ age gap? How should I, when I am presented with the prospects of a relationship with an older man, judge the age gap? Perhaps it is a matter of how much I trust that person. What might be worrying about the age gap in the case of teen vs. twenties is that the relationship may be unbalanced. The older man or woman is most likely to have more experience in love, relationships and sex so will have an entirely different set of expectations from the younger half. The pressure of these expectations (say sexual wants) may be stressful and demanding on the other who perhaps wants something completely different. This is one concern age gaps could be said to hold. On the other hand experience is a very attractive thing. So is the recognition of culture that comes with years of life experience. Perhaps money is attractive to you – fair enough. Yet however much experience someone has this will not change others points of view about the issue of age between teens and twenties +. If you are a person who is affected by the opinions of others with ease or feel damaged by criticism – then perhaps in the long run an open relationship with an elder or younger person may not be for you! You may find you get turned off your partner because of the constant backlash from others – you may find such a relationship is too much like hard work. Why should it matter? In a case where two people are trusting and truly familiar with one another, where there is love; there is nothing wrong with it, really. What might be wrong about it is this: perhaps it is wrong that people should criticize it without really thinking about the situation it grew in. If it was born out of a whimsical decision, with little thought or time put toward it – an argument can be made by some. But if the relationship has been cultivated over time, gradually and with care – then it should be accepted. It is very easy in this day and age to call someone older a perv’ and someone who is young a whore. Another side to this is the idea of exploitation. There is something about mutual loves – mutual in the sense that the two are at the same point in life – this suggests that exploitation is not happening. With age it might be hard to tell whether one or the other are being exploited for their looks, wealth or lifestyle alone. Some would say that age gaps (again in the case of teens and twenties+) present problems around it being superficial. But I would firmly argue – whose business is that? For loving relationships - 'follow your heart'. This idea follows from a philosophy that cannot fail. Slightly utilitarianistic (seeking happiness), yet with a hint of the selfish gene glimmering through. Only registered users can write comments. Please login or register. Add as favourites (66) | Quote this article on your site
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