 My coming out ('outing') was harder than it should have been as I naively choose an awkward time. From the point of view of a parent, finding out that your son is gay cannot be easy to take. Finding out your child has just found a boyfriend and is going on a date with him on the same day is damage to the wound. This combination did my mother no favours.
Looking back on their reactions now I have mixed feelings. On the one hand my mothers reaction was not 'bad' by any meaning of the word, however the small things that have occurred sinse my coming out have had an impact on me. The emotional gestures which formed her reaction made an impression on me, these were somewhat exaggerated by the temperament of my emotions at the time.
"Coming out involves an emotional leap as we have to prepare our defenses for any number of possible outcomes"
Coming out involves an emotional leap as we have to prepare our defenses for any number of possible outcomes, namely the worst possible outcome.  I feel that with my coming out, the largest challenge I faced was growing up to be someone who no longer had a secret. The burden of my secret did have an effect on me, coming out marked then end of my sentence and the beginning of a new phase of development in the midst of my teenage years.
The relinquishment of my burden was delayed as my mother wanted to ignore the fact, to keep it a secret and avoid it in discussion. Following my 'outing', there were many a morning where I was not embraced with the usual "good morning" but instead a rather blank look. Essentially my mother took her time to accept it, but through persistence and resistance against her ever-watchful gaze we seemed to overcome the problem.
The problem of course was not that I was gay but instead that I was her little boy, her boy who had changed. My mother has influenced many aspects of my personality but not this one. This was a change she had missed out on, that she couldn't comprehend except by the subjectivity of science.
On the other side is my father. To this point there is little to say except in a comparison between him and my mother. His happiness for me, his understanding and appreciation of my sexuality, does not root in the ignorance of fathers in comparison to a mothers, nor lye in his feelings toward having grandchildren. His reaction was formed by his life experiences. In my eyes, my Dad has always been a single minded, open-minded and cultured person. These virtues have come about in his life experiences and influenced his reaction to my outing. They are by no means uncommon or unique virtues, however I should think they are less common amongst his peers.
Needless to say I had it lucky. I received a positive balance between a bad and a good reaction. Neither were bad yet because I am close to my parents I took alot away from the experience. If you are considering coming out to your parents, do not hold too tight a grip onto your expectations. Do not brush off their negative reactions and label these as, for instance, 'homophobic' or 'uncaring', unless you want them to feel the same toward your sexuality. As with most situations, I would always recommend trying and treat them as you would like to be treated.
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and well he just said "you had to write it down?" and i said "well you dont really listen very well" and well he smiled and said "i dont care really i dont, i cant count how many gay friends i have in college". So needless to say i was just so relieved 
