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Home Page arrow Articles arrow A Super Secret?
A Super Secret? Print E-mail
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Monday, 20 August 2007

ImageIt was a warm, and humid spring day, and the lacrosse players were practising on the fields before school. Today was the day I was anticipating telling my friend that I was bisexual but more dominantly homosexual. I had problems with acceptance, within myself and others, so revealing this part of my self came from an inner desire to let someone see behind the mask I wore daily. Like Superman, I was hiding behind a disguise, and similarly to Superman, who was known to so many as only Clark Kent, I struggled with my dual identity.

Second period drew close and I had texted my friend to meet me in the halls twenty minutes before class would end. So along with second period drawing to a close a strong and immense sickness dawned upon me. It was intense, it felt like I was juggling the rest of my life on the acceptance of a single friend, and this juggling makes you feel so uncomfortable that you feel utterly out of control of your self, your future.

"I was juggling the rest of my life on the acceptance of a single friend"

Gathering myself, I  took a breath and thought of how I would feel afterword, how my friend would accept me, how she would hopefully embrace this new side of me, seeing me as the whole person I had previously denied to all but myself.  I had not idea how my deepest most beloved secret would be shared with someone I loved, yet something gave me strength.  Confiding in her was a big step, knowing that she had power over me in her knowledge of who I really was did frighten me, yet empowered me also.

It was time.

I saw my friend in the hallway. She had instantly believed something was wrong and that I was in trouble because of my sudden need to confide in her.  Perhaps she wasn't wrong, perhaps I had seemed like I was in danger?  Needless to say, the nerves washed over me and I clammed up. She gave me a hug, "What's wrong?" her arms calmed my shivering like a warm blanket. I felt safe. "Nothing, just please don't get scared and don't freak out", she began guessing at my secret, all guesses were wrong so after  I made her promise on my grave and hers that she would not tell anyone for as long as I felt uncomfortable letting people know, I took the plunge.

"Perhaps she wasn't wrong, perhaps I had seemed like I was in danger?"

Undoubtedly her promises of secrecy softly encouraged the trust that i craved from her. "So what's up, what did you need to tell me," she asked. Feeling scared and aware of the butterflies in my stomach, I whispered it to her in the empty halls, "I'm kinda, well.... I'm... bisexual."

Then I saw a smile. It was a happy, don't worry about, I will always be there for you, smile. Not only did she smile with her beautiful pearls, but she smiled with her eyes and her heart. It was the greatest most cherished moment of my life. It truly felt as if a physical weight had lifted from my chest and shoulders, so with the lifted weight, I hugged her. I held her in my arms, and whispered."I love you so much, you're the greatest friend I will ever have." We both whispered comforting and supporting things about my secret and our everlasting relationship. A bond so cohesive, and strong, No worries found their way into my thoughts, only happiness, warmth and comfort. I don't think I have ever or could ever connect with someone like I did that day, even calling her my best friend doesn't seem right, she is my hero, my saviour, my superman.

Do you have a coming out story that you would like to share with the members of the GYC?  Or would you like to share your experiences of growing up gay and the challenges you have / are facing right now?  If so we would love to hear from you and are always keen to publish the many rich and diverse stories right here on the website. 

Please send all content to Rob at   This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it  

We look forward to hearing from you,

The GYC team

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Comments (9)
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10-11-2007 02:54
First of all, I wasn\'t even aware this was going to be published ( I had sent a request I just wasn\'t sure it was titled under this name and in this section) so to my amazement, I very excited. Yes it has only been half a year since I\'ve been openly \"out\". Aftering becoming \"out\" I have discovered two very important things in life. One, when you build up enough trust in someone to tell them a secret and they guard it with their own reputation, this is when you truly have a friend. Two, when you have more than one true friend guarding a secret than what you have is a family.
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17-10-2007 21:02
I can relate to ur blog. Only a/b 5 of my friends kno that I'm Bi. As I was reading ur story, I began to tear up. :cry Your story gave me hope that maybe my friends will accept me as well. Whether or not they'll accept me, only God knows, but I'm willing to give it a try. : ) Thank you for sharing your story. :)
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24-09-2007 16:41
I told my friend the day i wrote this.I asked him if i was a friend to him a real friend.I trusted him i just wanted to know what he thought and then i asked him what he would say if i told him i was bi.He said hey thats you i dont mind and i told him.Well he asked am i really or if i was jokeing and what guys i like.I told him im not completly cofterble with telling him right then and their.Well ill end it their :x :eek
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10-09-2007 20:12
my life I have never tryed to hide anything but peopel always asked the wrong questions finaly I told one of my friends and they laphed it off cause they knew .. I never had to tell them they just knew and in our hug it was like nothing matter .. only that she trusted me and I trusted her and that the world could fall down around us and we wouldn't have know
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31-08-2007 22:06
That story is exactly what happened to me, i was so scared about telling my friends about what i was abd who i had a crush on, but it turns out in the end they understand me and like me even more =]
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25-08-2007 01:38
Wow, 
 
That is such a great story. It actually hits very close to my heart because I had this one friend of mine. Whom I told, and now we are (as one could say) best friends. I think now it even goes further then that. Thank you again for this peice. 
 
(And it also is a good reminder of the good people in you life. I know I have a few e-mails to write). 
 
>>Spencer
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23-08-2007 05:30
Wow thanks for sharing :cry
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22-08-2007 04:05
Aww what a wonderful story!
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20-08-2007 21:40
that was REALLY cute! :p
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