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Home Page arrow Advice & information arrow YLG Gay Sex Advice arrow Dealing with Homophobia
Dealing with Homophobia Print E-mail
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Tuesday, 22 November 2005
HomophobiaHomophobia is any form of physical, verbal or mental and emotional abuse targeted at homosexuals because of their sexuality.

People do it for a number of reasons - because of personal fear - the fear of being different - a lack of imagination, and to make themselves feel more secure in their own skins and sexuality.


The fear is based in ignorance. This is what you need to remember if you receive any abuse: you have done nothing wrong and it is not your fault.
At school
You have the right to go to school and not be bullied for any reason. If your school cannot guarantee your safety you should consult the police and report whatever crime has been committed. Verbal and physical abuse and intimidation are criminal offences.

You might not want to be a 'snitch'. In the first instance, you might report the bullying to a teacher - or go straight to the top and see the head teacher - without naming the offenders. This will alert the school to what is happening and prompt extra vigilance on the school's part. If the bullying continues, you will need to name the offenders. Remember: beyond the school, there is the police.

The rest of this article is available on The Young Lovers' Guide

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04-05-2008 14:01
I came out my freshman year. It was a chain reaction i told my friends and they told theres. i go to a redneck school and i deal with homophobia everyday. :sigh All my friends are really protective so really all it gets to is some ass calling me a Queer. it doesn\'t bother me.
Registered
22-04-2008 18:35
I came out to my friends in my first year of college and they were cool about it yer i was drunk at the time but anyway lol only one person stopped talking to me because she thought i fancied her after my msn account was hacked but it just shows who your friends are and it hasn't affected my life. me and my friends are still as close as we were when they thought i was straight even though i've moved to the otehr side of the world lol hopfully people here are as nice about it x-X-x
Registered
22-03-2008 19:11
there is this kid dylin 
and he is 17  
we are in the eighth grade 
and unfortunatly he is a jerk 
he picks on me everyday 
... i told my teacher that he is being a jackass (using these words) 
and they did nothin bout it at first cause they didnt belive me 
so the one day i got pushed down the stairs and broke my arm (w.e) 
went to the hospital (stood it out) 
went back to school 3 days later and saw that he was kicked out of the skool! (think godd) but now his friends tell me that he is looking to kill me (w.e) 
:sigh :cry :sigh
Registered
14-02-2008 16:10
my school is full of pricks. i get call a faggot at least 3 times a day. 
i also get beat up. 
my twin sister loves joining them in tormenting me as well
Registered
14-02-2008 16:10
my school is full of pricks. i get call a faggot at least 3 times a day. 
i also get beat up. 
my twin sister loves joining them in tormenting me as well
Registered
11-02-2008 19:46
Im pretty lucky to have an awesome year group that really mix and dont care about what you are 
 
Most people just say its up to you not me ... 
 
But some people do care, eg in other yeargroups. They through comments at me occasionly, but i dont care. Just ignore them they are only saying it to try and act kool. 
 
One person in my year did have a problem with it and they talked about me behind my back. He lost a few friends over that :roll
Registered
29-12-2007 05:34
heres the thing. in like 4th, 6th, and 7th grade, people called my gay cause I was really polite. In 4th grade I had no idea what gay was so i took no notice. In 6th and 7th grade, ppl called me gay, but i thought i wasnt so i took no offense to it. in 8th and 9th grade (im in 9th now) people dont think im gay cause im masculine acting now. the thing is, i met the most wonderful person ive ever talked to on a gay chat site like this one. im from AZ hes from Ontario. I wasnt to see him more than anything. we talk online all the time, and are gonna talk on the phone soon. at my school, there are a lot of lesbians, but like no gay guys, so im scared to come out. so far, i dont think anyone is bullied but that coulcd change if i come out.
Registered
21-12-2007 02:24
i hear alot about guys being physically abused cos of being gay :( 
its sad and horrible
Registered
30-11-2007 10:49
So far, i have had many thing thrown at me, people shouting things, people asking things, spreading shit, all sorts of stuff. But one day it stopped, because i turned round and told them to "shut the fuck up". One on the guys i told to shut the fuck up came up to me to punch, but three of my friends punched him first.  
 
Loads of my friends know im gay, and they dont mind. Your friends are the people you listen too, not the pricks that say immature comments.  
 
Since i came out, about 5 other people in my school have also had the courage to come out too. So, just think, your probably helping someone. Also remember, dont listen to the pricks:D
Registered
03-11-2007 10:20
I'm not really out yet; the only one that knows is my best friend, who's a true friend 'cause he's the first to back me up even though he's not huge on the idea, but people still push the accusation on me, and I've never really been bothered by it. I act the straight bit because everyone I know is a homophobe (and by God am I hoping for a companion sometime soon. I'm getting lonely, lol). Even still, nobody should ever take these words to heart. I've been down the whole wanting-to-die, suicidal path, and it's not fun, but if you let people get to you, you might end up there, so it's best to find a loyal friend or family member and talk to them about it. Trust me, once you tell someone, a HUGE weight is lifted off your shoulders and it becomes something you'll be proud of, which is how I feel about it. :)
Registered
31-10-2007 21:30
i am from the UK one day at high school (i in year 10 now) i asked my friends if they would hate me for being gay and they said YES. damn the camp gays. anyway i am str8 acting and nobody knows i am gay lol. str8 guys can be so easily fooled. i am looking to make a couple of gay friends and even meet some.
Registered
22-09-2007 18:30
And I Mean Guys Only Thanks 
 
Michael 8) ;)
Registered
22-09-2007 18:29
Hi :) Anybody from Alexandria near Glasgow ? If there is leave me a message or add my msn its - This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it :)
If your curious about anal sex then message me and we could meet up sometime and have a good timw if you catch my drift ;) :grin x  
 
Michael
Registered
11-08-2007 17:45
hi
Guest
sexymamma
06-08-2007 06:29
you know no one ever cared that im a lesbian, when i came out most people said "yeah we figured it out" and carried on =/
Registered
26-07-2007 04:45
I've never been physically bullied, just called 'fag' and 'queer' (in a negitive tone) Plus, there are so many 'fag hags' in my school I have plenty of girls that want to be friends just because I'm gay. There inlies the problem, how do I make guy friends that dont think I am always tring to hit on them? I am really masculine, and its still hard making guy friends. All of my old guy friends 'steer clear of the queer' would this be considered a type of bullying?
Registered
19-07-2007 20:28
i got bullied in school b4 i comeout to any1, coz my hair style looks girly ..?  
one day this guy @ my class gave some1 who liked me my cellphone num## 
and now.. most guys @ school are calling me wanting to go out with me haha i'm happy now that every1 in school knows about me :grin  
 
but it's sometimes bad coz someguys try to make fun? :upset
Guest
nawaf
18-07-2007 12:48
err i remember telling my best friend i was bi, after that we grew really fuking close, i mean really close but 1 day his dad caught on and told him he needed to stop sense then it all ended, i love him to death and have for the last 4 yrs, he is the only guy i have ever felt anything for, ive sense then dated girls but my relationships never last becus when im with some 1 else i feel like utter shit and cant stop thinking about him, he has sense then banned the subject of r passed kissing me only once sense wat his dad said but we where really drunk, we where together for 2 yrs and have remained best friends for the other last 2, i need to move on but its impossible for me, he is everything to me, regardless of how he can act like a dickhead at times, and just drive me to the point of wanting to strangle him, i still love him more then anything in this world combined
Registered
16-07-2007 22:52
Sigh im gay and i hate it and i hate typing it ,,,, i told 1 guy at school who i thought was my m8, he spread it around and now i hate him but i kinda still have a superiority to him BECAUSE he is the homopho and HE IS SCARED OF ME. Most people think im gay coz i am a bit of an emo but thats the way i wana be, i aint told anyone since and im not in a rush to either :cry i just dont see the point ,, telling my best friends wud just make things arkward between us ,,,,,,,,,, i wana guy irl to LOVE ( no that doesnt meen sex) i am 15 and i liv in newcastle,,, the reason i dnt get problems is coz i go to a public school and u cant get any fights there :grin i duno what else to say,, i am a homopho myselff I THINK coz i always keep away frm gay people and i actualy call peeps gay as an insult,,i duno why i guess im jjust scared of being round out
Registered
07-07-2007 05:50
hi all
Guest
TOM
08-06-2007 11:43
i am 15 years old male and i am confused idk if i am gay i am startin 2 feel attraction to the same sex and i sometimes hav fantasies of sex wit the same gender am i gay?
Guest
confused
01-06-2007 00:11
Going to an all boys school was never gonna be easy for a gay lad. 
To date, Ive been spat at, had books, chairs, bricks, scissors, and several other things thrown at me. This doesnt upset me though,what upsets me is how their actions affect other people who see it happening, and are two afraid to admit their own sexuality. 
X
Registered
31-05-2007 21:06
I got bullied at school before i even came out, but i think they pretty much geussed it. im from a rural area, and the people there were..sketchy to say the least, and i did find infact that the school was of little help. now i dont mean to slash any chances of school helping you. but i felt like it was me against the school. 
 
now quite why i wazs h8ed i wasnt to knoe. i wasnt cruel or mean, i was just an easy target i surpose. 
 
now had i known it was an offence...criminal, i would have seen the police, but how it was, it had been 2 years of solid bullying, with no help, so as you can imagene what happens as people become helpless and deprest, well things got pretty bad. But thie key is I DIDNT TELL ANYONE. that was the problem. 
 
well bullying was the problem but me not saying anything was from my side. 
 
anyway, my parents did move schools and i got my life back. i havent been able to forgive them for the way i was treated, but i can move on.
Registered
15-05-2007 19:29
I have been bulllied for being gay when i havent even come out to them yet... i think it is because i kinda act girly but i mean that is not true about all gay people...even though i am gay. when people make fun of me like call me gay i just make a comback like "yeah i am" it shuts them up so quick...i mean i am still a closet gay but i am proud of my sexualiy i just dont want people to hurt me for being myself.
Guest
Pheonix
23-04-2007 19:05
I've been verbally and physically harassed for my sexuallity, it was pretty scary, the second time i should have gone to the hospital though, cus i could have had a concusion. I think its terrible, and no one should go through that, no matter what the reason, there is no valid reason for physical or verbal abuse. :sigh
Registered
21-04-2007 08:36
In middle school, I was pretty much persecuted for being gay, but the school just sat back and watched. Then, I didn\'t know I dould go to the police and I would have if I knew it was an offence. I ended up with suicidal depression, but the school sat back for two years while anyone \"gay\" or thought to be gay, was beaten. It wasn\'t untill I transfered from the school (after having my ankle slammed in a heavy metal door to humiliate me further) that the schools administrative team noticed anything at all. I think that it is very important for younger people to know that they can tell people other than teachers that they are being harrased. I wish I had.
Guest
Michael
29-03-2007 14:49
i am not gay but i respect them for who they are and i think it is wrong for ppl to treat them diff :) 8) ;) :grin :p :zzz
Guest
ultra dude24
29-03-2007 04:41
my friend got into a fight last year after a ass hole tried to punch him becuse he was gay.(my friend kicked his but)and it makes me so mad how pple wont except goy bi or lez as normal
Guest
kimico98
24-03-2007 23:03
What are we supposed to do if even the police wont help and the bullying gets worse?
Registered
13-03-2007 06:07
it doesn't seem fair
in my school at least, it seems like people generally leave the "out" gay guys alone (and the lesbians are safe of course). however, if a gay guy is fairly masculine (like me for example), he is not received with the same respect and/or kindness. i think that a lot of the guys at my school probably just try to ignore the effeminate guys, but they probably think the masculine gays are trying to trick them or something. i am just glad that i'll be graduating in june, and that i only had to take P.E. through the tenth grade.
Guest
misterbarkin
08-03-2007 21:45
Scared
Im scared for the school to find out! PE changing would be even worse if they all thought i was trying to perv on them (which btw i would never do to them lot) I dont like ther personalitys so i wana keep away but they would prop see it as me wantin to get with every dam girl i see :( 
 
still my form teacher knows n shes great :) 
and so are *some* of my mates
Guest
janehhen
26-11-2006 04:15
This is kinda akward...
Anyway, I've known that I was bi-sex. since I was like 13/14, and since then I've acted kinda homophobic to "keep my cover" but I think that some of my freinds really are gay, or atleast curious, and all I want right now is a relationship, so..... If you live in southern ohio around chilicothe or lancaster, then send me a message or sumthin, LATA
Guest
dude24
12-10-2006 19:19
This is kinda akward...
I live in South Africa an we're supposed to be really liberal towards gay people, I'm still to see that though :sigh I really wouldn't like to see how people would react at my school if they knew, they take it so personally it seems :x
Guest
vixen
28-09-2006 07:29
Correct Last post
I spelled Hide worng. sorry about people. I Met to say that I dont have any firends and I really dont Act Homopohic to hide the fact that I am gay. I act Asexual To hide the the fact that I am gay. I just wanted to correct my post form before
Guest
CCCPDUDE
28-09-2006 07:08
Closet
I am a Closet gay. I dont have any friends. I dont act Homopohic to hinde that I am gay. I act Like I am Asexual
Guest
CCCPDUDE
19-09-2006 12:31
OMFG
I was picked on for being 'gay' before i even wondered about myself, the chavs at my skool use the word as an insult. If a chav dood or dudette says sumfin lyk "His Bag is So Gay !" I just say "Yeh, his bag lyks cock doesnt it? How can sum1's bag be gay"  
 
It winds them up so much, i dont get bullied as much anymore, cos ive gotten more popular, but its hell wen all the chavs start on you. I think ill come out to my skool soon cos peepal think i am anyway and they're not afraid to say it. And if i get picked on im gonna smack somebody in their f**ing face !!! :p
Guest
dobby1993
17-09-2006 14:33
WOAH ! ! ! ! ! !
I am very out about my sexuality, im strait actin, but i dance every where i go, and i always get picked on, but only when im alone cause of my size, like my whole school knows, and im in year 11, and im now very popular cause im gay, and i am very happy till one of them smart ass homophobes says something. :(  
Also, Homophobes need to relise that just cause us queer boys like guys, DONT MEAN WE IS GOONA TRY AND HOOK UP WITH EVERY DAMN GUY OUT THERE :upset , so yea 
 
 
xXx STEVEN xXx
Guest
CardSoldier
22-08-2006 12:55
not every1 is homophobic
I first thought i was gay in year 8 (12/13) nd i told me best m8 in my form in year 9. now im about 2 go into year 11 and i have told loads of my friends nd they are all fine about it, but since i went on a skool trip in july this year the whole of my school thinks im gay. but i am so str8 actin (wel i think i am). but my skool is ful of chavs nd i avent had a sly comment yet. im not amazingly popular but i always get asked wether im gay nd i say no. im just so scared of gettin the shit kicked outa me just cuz im queer. yer im gay, ur str8, well done for observating. homophobes reli need 2 lighten up. i think all the fays should gang up on the homophobes as there arnt as many as people think. but for the people hu r, just stop, there is no need. im chattin crap but hey!!!!! :grin
Guest
Lukeypoos
17-08-2006 09:21
Also
I hate the bad reputation that lesbians have aquired over the years. I'm not butch at all, and I hate it when people assume I'm a certain way because of my sexuality. You say lesbians don't get as many homophobic-attacks as gay guys do, but I think we do- they're just different. I hope I don't offend when I make the generalization that guys are confrontational, while girls tend to make more subtle attacks. The same deal applies to homophobia, I think. Wheras gay boys might get more verbal and physical abuse, girls get the subtle cold-shoulder, the lack of a return call, and plenty of loneliness. I feel afraid to tell people I like girls because of the way I will be treated. I guess that's a pretty general feeling among all of us. Anyway, I think girls have it worse because, where gay guys have girls to talk to, we don't- straight girls avoid us, and straight boys know they won't be getting anything from us, so they avoid us, too. I can only be honest with other gay kids.
Guest
lostdresden
15-08-2006 02:34
my life sux at the moment
[B]well im a newbie to the site kind of mixed up might be gay might be bi might be straight  
my family dragged me to uk to split up from my best friend in aussie so im kinda alone my mom is ultra catholic and my dad is ex marrine and handy with his fists (you og figgure my life im at an all time low allsort running through my head and im really not caring or sure my next step so yeah homophobia sucks no joke intended just the truth see ya allkind of mixed up might be gay might be bi might be straight [/B] :? :( :cry :( :x
Guest
beuxvardine

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