| Coming Out |
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| Tuesday, 22 November 2005 | ||||
 In an ideal world, coming out would be a thing of the past. There'd be no coming out issue to get through. As we developed our sexual identities through adolescence our peers and mentors would be absolutely open to whether we were gay or bi or straight - or however we might choose or refuse to label. Meanwhile, for many or most, coming out is the biggest challenges so far faced. When you feel you are ready to do it, you don't need to tell everyone immediately. Begin with the people closest to you - it might be just one person - whom you trust. It can help to tell friends first rather than family, particularly if your parents aren't noticeably liberal or entirely up to speed with the developments of recent decades. Many parents are entirely supportive. They may have known you were gay all along and are instantly ready to break out that champagne they've been saving for a special occasion. They are readier to accept your sexuality than you dare imagine. But there are those for whom this is not the case. If you're not sure, or if you've heard them make homophobic comments in the past, it is wise to remember that coming out can lead to rejection and abuse. It may be best not to tell them: the risk might be simply too great, especially if you're living at home or are financially dependent on your parents. If, however, you feel you must - and this is not meant to sound alarmist - have an escape route planned and ready. Of course, the hope is that you won't have to use it - the hope is that coming out will greatly enhance your relationship - but have it there in case. When you tell a friend, particularly if he is young and frantically negotiating his own (gay or straight) adolescence, anticipate having to leave some time for the new information to settle. He (or she) might not understand at first. He (especially) might feel threatened. After all, he has been subject to much the same conditioning and lack of information as you. You're ready to out yourself because you've given it a lot of thought and are ready to accept yourself as you are. The rest of this article is available on The Young Lovers' Guide Only registered users can write comments.  Add as favourites (43) |  Quote this article on your site
14-06-2009 18:50 im not reallly treated any differently. it was suprisingly easy to come out to my friends. just my family says its jsuta phase and im not gay at all. Registered 13-05-2009 03:00 most ppl at school know im gay and since then i have gotten way more friends! both male and female Registered 10-05-2009 01:45 OMG i want to do it so bad, but i havent came out yet cuz all my friends think im straight, and i think one of my freinds is gay and i think hes hot so wat should i do? Registered 24-04-2009 20:17 i want to tell someone but then i dont want to tell someone because im scared i would get rejected Registered 10-04-2009 14:09 i dont want to tell anyone, my life will be over, my mates wont speak to me and beat me up. i sed to them " what would you do if i was a gay or a bi, they sed we will never speak to you" then i had to move on to a different subject, i dont want to tell my family my dad wont expact it and he will kick me out my grandparnets would kill me i am suck here someone help me please help me  Registered 06-04-2009 05:25 I think that it helps tremendously if you firstly find a guy friend that you know is gay or bi through myspace. My two best friends are girls. I can’t talk to them about it cause they don’t understand. When I met my first guy friend that’s gay in person I finally felt really happy inside because I felt like there was someone that was going thought what I was going through and we had this connection right off the bat like I knew him my whole life. He’s a great guy. I found in the past month two good friends, one who’s gay and the other is bi. I feel very happy after meeting Jose, and James.  {If you ever you need a shoulder to lean on (online), message me}Registered 05-04-2009 12:40 14-11-2008 20:53 i told my best friend that i was gay and she\'s cool with it. she said that she loved gay guys. but i don\'t know how to tell my mom everytime i try to tell her i think of the bad things that might happen. Registered 30-10-2008 21:29 well told nearly everyone now but just should have kept it secret from mum and step dad because they just take it out of proportion. They want me to sit down with them and have a good talk about my sexuality! lol Registered 18-07-2008 22:39 i told my sis yesterday but i hate lieing about my sexualitie against my mom i feel like i'm dieing inside but i don't know how she will reaact can anyone help me plz Registered 21-11-2007 20:15 i don't no why but i always seem to fancy straight boys that gay i have been wiv both striaght and gay but i know that i can only look and not touch Registered 17-08-2007 00:22 this sort of relates to the whole coming out thing. see I'm 16 and I feel like it's time to not be afraid of who knows that I'm gay. I've been looking for a why to get it off my chest when my English teacher assigned a classroom speaking project on what something that has greatly affected your life in a positive way. I thought this could be the chance to let the truth be known, however I don't know if i"m making the right choice or not. Please help. Registered 30-06-2007 14:18 what should you do if you think some one is gay and you have a magor crush on him. how would you find out if he is gay and feels the same Registered 26-04-2007 20:31 how do u know if the guy ur crushin on is gay/bi. rite now ive been runnin to his house everyday jus to see him. but today he asked me if i was gay... i freaked out and jus jokingly said yeah sure. but the thing is after that he hugged me from behind. i seriously have to tlk to him, but im scared to. wat if things between us become awkward in and out of school? Registered Powered by AkoComment Tweaked Special Edition v.1.4.6 |
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| Last Updated ( Tuesday, 22 November 2005 ) | ||||
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