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Staying safe in an online world |
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Columns -
Rob's Column
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Written by Rob
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Monday, 03 October 2005 |
 Much the same as we all protect our drinks in bars and clubs or look both ways when crossing the road, it is important to protect yourself online. With the rise in gay community websites and personals services it is easy to find yourself trawling through vast amounts of blurred webcam stills and naked images, coming to believe that this is all there is. However, in reality and with the exception of a few dark corners in some clubs, when do we actually get to see somebody in their full glory before knowing their name, favourite band or eye colour?
‘Online environments are attractive places for those questioning their sexual identity’
Think of the internet as a large room, beautifully decorated and wonderfully enticing, filled with hundreds of thousands of people. How do we filter through those people and find the ones most like us, or the ones who we want to make friends with? Usually, in the real world and as shallow as we pretend not to be, it is based on looks. However, the internet allows edited first encounters, controlled completely by the individual, selecting the ‘best bits’ for viewing. So how can we ever know who we are talking to online?
The internet is a wonderful resource, especially for gay and lesbian teens. There is the opportunity to vent feelings and have questions answered. Online environments are attractive places for those questioning their sexual identity; they can represent a haven away from intolerance and prejudice.
However, an increasing number of gay youths use the internet for arranging sexual encounters. Yet with so much opportunity are you simply getting to the best of a bad bunch? There is the possibility of being taken advantage of online, both sexually and emotionally. Perhaps this is because the laws of reality can be ignored; fifty year old men can become teenagers again, wedding rings can be hidden, waists are smaller and legs longer.
'with so much opportunity are you simply getting to the best of a bad bunch?’
Is it possible to ever know anybody fully through the internet? Perhaps initially only looking for friendship from like minded individuals, the internet provides access to a huge gay network. Although not every person in this network is similar or looking for the same thing. There is certainly nothing wrong with consensual sex between two people, and if this is arranged through the internet then that does not change. However, for gay youths looking for what it is to be gay, and only finding such a small part of what defines our sexual orientation, the internet can be dangerous.
Gay youths are surrounded by older, promiscuous role models. Furthermore, some gay men and women may encourage gay teens that certain sexual experiences are what it is to be gay. All of this filters down to a gay youth seeking guidance. The internet then provides a means for seeking sex with strangers. Eventually this drive to find somebody to fulfil a physical need hinders the potential to make genuine online friends. Many gay teens are looking for friendship, acceptance and understanding; many more are going through trying times, and perhaps don't think as highly of themselves as they should. This need to be needed makes it possible for the gay teen to be taken advantage of online.
 Essentially, the internet is just as limited by the rules that govern reality. If we are not attracted to a person’s looks or personality, it is unlikely that we will get to know them. Attraction is a complex human experience, and perhaps shall never be fully understood in real life. How much harder is it then to ever get to know a person online when you can never be sure completely that what you see is what you get? It is possible though to meet and maintain close friendships online, just remember that in cyberspace, as in reality, appearances may be deceiving.Only registered users can write comments.
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