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 In our world of social pressures to settle down with, devote oneself to another person, how important to young gay individuals is monogamy? This is something that I find myself returning too rather frequently, however, each time it is with something of a different perspective. I shall be honest from the outset; I believe that commitment is totally important to all relationships and that as a gay man myself it is monogamy that motivates my relationship ambitions. However, this is something of a long term goal and whilst being young is all about experiencing life totally, should we be disregarding serious commitment?
Out on the scene last, I bumped into some friends who I had not seen for a while; whilst catching up and dancing along to whatever was being played, came the invitation for joining them back at their house. Now, initially I thought why not continue the party? Yet there seemed to be something further to the offer. Whilst aware that these friends’ intentions were somewhat different to what I had initially interpreted, I did find myself intrigued. Let’s not pretend that we all are somewhat, from time to time susceptible to the whim of our sexual drives. However, it is how we exercise this whim that matters. The offer I received was from friends and people who I knew well enough to trust. Even so, it is not uncommon in most gay clubs on most nights for similar propositions to be made and acted upon. I do not aim to pass judgement, to stand in favour or opposition against casual sex; however, I do aim to use it as the antithesis to the total fidelity I hope to obtain from a boyfriend in the future. Neither am I saying that such offers should be accepted purely as a means of experimenting. Sex is a serious business and even in a casual context there are emotions involved and obviously your personal safety is paramount. We are all, only young once and despite knowing many guys and girls who are in successful relationships, is it right to assume this is always what most gay youths desire? A good friend who is in a casual relationship admits that it is tough sometimes restricting emotion and simply acting from physical attraction, yet the arrangement does, apparently, work well. Of course we do not need only to refer to casual relationships being driven by sex alone, or indeed at all. For many gay youths it is the friends that are made who have the greatest influence on our sexuality. Here is the grey area; casual sex suggests that there is nothing more than a physical attraction present; emotions are left outside the bedroom. Perhaps then for casual sex to be successful it needs to exist outside of friendships already held. Why should we though, confuse established relationships simply for the guarantee of a casual arrangement? It is true that the internet has influenced relationships and the access gay youths have to other gay individuals. Therefore is promiscuity being encouraged and should we be concerned about the ease at which sexual partners can be sourced? Of course the internet does have its dangers, these dangers are at times unique but perhaps also similar to the dangers of meeting people in the "real world". What is clear now and especially with the legalisation of civil partnerships across most of Europe is that the example can be set for commitment in the same way that marriage promotes total fidelity for straight couples. To be clearer; gay men and women can now display their commitment to each other legally and therefore have a greater sense of working towards fidelity. There is no shame in experimenting when young as there is plenty of time for serious relationships but at last those gay men and women who live successful relationships can show their pride to society. Of course there is still work to be done in America, yet there is no reason why the same does not apply. I am not by means of this opinion promoting promiscuity as a means of experimenting and having a richer gay youth. Rather, I am saying that do not feel a pressure to be looking for that right person always. Often the hunt for the right person never yields desirable results. Try not to concern yourself with matching your ideals to another, simply keep an open mind and treat each new person you meet as somebody worth knowing. What is true is that each individual is in control of their own sexual experiences. Therefore, it is not fair to hold a prejudice towards those who sleep with 10 men before they find a relationship or indeed those who wait to sleep with the right person after they have committed themselves. Who knows, perhaps your future husband or wife will be dressed in a tutu across a packed dance floor, or sitting quietly reading over a cup of coffee, perhaps even the person you secretly like at school likes you back. Whatever the circumstance, govern your life with an open mind but follow your own desires, your principles; stop looking and start meeting!
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I was afrid too tell my parents.So one day i grew ball i told them all i was gay.The next couple of days were hard because they pertented like yesterday did happen.But I sat them down and talked to them and the supported me.Sure there was some tears thrown around but I know my family loves me for me.But i only fought a quarter of the war.the real battle is the rest of the world. 
well it all depends when you young it is the time to experiment and youth need to know about being safe and taking care of themselves, in other word us gay dont need to be sluts ....and when the time comes you will find someone ...get to know people... eh? 
