I still havent told my parents im bi, and i never will until im out of the house

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Im terrified of coming out :/  
My mum and my dad are reallly homophobic! ='( 
i always see my dad take the mess out of gay people on TV and in town and things, he always says things like "look at that bunch of puffters" and uses words like faggot :/ 
my mum thinks im gay anyway and she says shes fine with it, but ive seen looks she gives to gay couples and the constant evils she gives to my gay friend :/ 
so i dont know i dont think ill ever come out because ill let my dad down

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This is for all who are afraid to tell their parents. You know If your parents really loved you then they wouldnt judge you or look down upon you. They would accept you. But dont be affraid to be who you are. Its how you were made to be and you should be that person. I told my mum around february and she is fine with it. Even though my father cried when i told him the night i stayed with him he still loves me. But dont be afraid to tell anyone your gay. Im an open guy. I love who i am. And someone very close to me once told me. Be comfortable in your own skin because your not going to be happy or get anyone without being comfortable in your own skin. Who cares what people say about you if you tell everyone your gay. Half the kids at my school Mainly jocks hate me because their affraid of something new and different. I have learned top accept that because people are entitled to their oppinions. But just dont be afraid to be you. Thats what your on earth for is just to be you.

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my parents are absolutely disgusted by homosexuality. They are hardcore Catholic, and I'm not speaking badly about the Catholic Church at all....but homosexuality is frowned upon. I personally still don\'t know how I feel about letting my self be gay.....but I\'m working on it everyday, and I don\'t see any way of telling my parents either. I hope it helps just a tiny bit to know that u aren't alone.

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My mom had a bad reaction when she saw 2 gays kiss... and I'm kinda scared.

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my paretns are sketchy...i told them christmas 2006 and its still not stuck yet, my dad said he would never accept it but my mum said she's ok with it... 
however its created a large gap in my life, im closer to my mum but im actually further than i was from my dad and when we do talk he always asks if i have a girlfriend yet...whne he knows i like men 
but not all familly's are like mine, most are understanding and i wish you alot of luck in telling your parents!

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I wish you luck with that it is hard to go through but after that anything is possible

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i am never gonna tell my parents that i am bi they are religious and have expressed their views on bisexuals in these words "so is he gay or is he one of these weirdo bi's who like a bit of both???" that hurt me alot and people keep saying that i sahould tell them but i am scared outa my head so any solution iseas would be good

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Luckily my parents aren't like that. They're alright with homosexuality, if a bit conservative, although I'm still terrified of coming out to them. I can't even imagine what you must be feeling! My best friend was hideously homophobic. She used to curse under her breath when she saw a gay couple on tv and thought that gays should live separately to straight people. It was killing me inside for years.When I eventually outed myself to her, she threw up and she didn't talk to me for months. She's getting used to the idea of me being a lesbian now though. You never know, she might even accept me one day. It just goes to show that no-one can truly hate you for who you love- they just need time to adapt to the idea!

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I must be very hard for you to deal with, it must add to the stress you are already feeling over this confusing time. I will never forget when i told my parents, i was basically in hysterical fits of crying. I thought they would react bad, i had heard then joking about gay people and using the stereotypical words such as "puff" and "queer" but i came out. I did it because i couldn't stand the strain and they accept me. They have been so supportive, of course they were shocked, i mean any hope of grandchildren has been thrown out the window. But with this in mind they still accept me because they love me, i am their son and that is all that matters.

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my boyfriend felt the same way but he finaly told them. they reacted better than he thought.

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God, that really sucks.  
That is screwed up. I mean it is wrong no matter what, but it must really hurt since it is about who you are too.  
It is disgusting to hear and see such prejudice and ignorance as this.  
It can't be easy for you, but hold strong.

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im srry laura i no how it feels 2 have parents like that. i always think it would be easier to have ur long term sweetheart with u when u come out. i wish the best of luck to u =)

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i'm very glad that you are proud to be a lesbian. that is VERY important, you have to love yourself before your family can love you fro who you are. . fortunatly when i came out my mom was fine with it (and always knew actually lol ) but the whole thing about ur mom actually covering up her eyes is really immature, quite honestly. but whatever, i hope the best for you

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please you are being very...... lax, just do it and be over it. Dont worry about their reactions, they seem like they would love u. U could ease them in with at first being bi sexual, that is by far the easiest thing to do. Let them acclimate then be lik " well i changed my mind, i am going full lesbo"

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same problem here, my dad always says bad things about a gay couple, it makes it harder for me to come out.

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Well my dad does that but its only because thats what society has told people to do. Your family will still love you the same way, they wont just not like you because you fancy someone? If you ever need to talk PM me :D xx cheer up.

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ya my mom does that all the time when gay couples come up on tv. 

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I want and dnt want to come out ive told 3 m8s and they took it well, but my dads a bit homophobic, my grandad wud do his absolute nut cause he wants me to marry and pass on family name, and my nan is perfect apart from 2 points her extreme racism to black people and her extreme homophobia which is silly cause her cousin is a lesbian,

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Hmm... that is hard. My Family, or most of them took it really well when I told them that I was bisexual. I told them that 'Love is Love, and it shouldn't matter who you Love.' and Yea... but everyone but my Grandmother took it well.  
 
She told me I was going to hell. *le sigh* However, afterwards she talked to me about it and things aren't as awkward as they were before they're still slightly uncomfortable.  
 
If I were you, I would wait till I was out of the house to tell your parents if they're like that. Most people are understanding, however there are the select few that aren't... so if you are moved out of the house you can tell them, and weather they don't like it, or whatever they can warm up to it and I'm sure things will smoothe over well. 
 
You're still their child no matter what, and I'm sure that they'll still love you the same.

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and also 
GAY PRIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
lol

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i think you should tell your parents because they love you and they will no matter what

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i kno exsactly hw u feel, im 16, im a girl n im not reli into labels but im much more into guys dan into guys, i came out 2 my parents, ma mum 2 years ago n shes reli open minded so i had no prob wit her, but ma dad hes always kinda made jokes about gays n lesbians n would use words lik fagget, i always told hin not 2 use dat word n i cam out 2 him about 9 months ago, n he at first wos a bit taken aback but den he took it reli well, n he says he loves me da same as b4 n dat it doesnt change anythin between us, only not 2 tell da rest of da famly cos der reli conservative. all i can tell u is that u can try to talk to them n find out why they feel how they feel about gay people n if u come out tell them that u r stil the girl u always were n they will love u cos ur their daughter and they will accept you maybe not right away but they will some day. wish u the best

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hmm wow same here  
 
well good luck

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Laura, 
I fully understand where you are coming from. I have grown up in a family that shares very strong opinions and values of the world. I attended a private Christian school from the time I was 3 until I graduated as an 8th grader. It was not until my freshman year of high school did I realize that I did not fit this mold that I had so easily identified myself with.  
I wanted to wait to tell my parents of my orientation until I was absolutely positive, but my mother beat me to the punch and asked me about it. The next year was filled with countless arguments, frustration, and unacceptance. They believed it was just a phase and that things would change.  
Now, as a 16 year old, my mother and father still struggle with the idea of my homosexuality, but they have begun to see that it isn't a phase.  
When you are ready to come out, your parents may not accept it right away, but I garantee that their love for you will never change.

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u know wat laura u are rite 
ur parents will not turn there back on u though cause do u know why? 
they're the ones tht brought u into this world 
and they will not push away there 1st child they loved in care for there whole life 
and im not saying im an expert cause im not 
but u r there world to them and thts wat makes u special to them and yourself. 
you may not be independent on this desicion 
but what makes you you is greater than anybody you could find in the world 
and dont feel alone  
cause theyre are many out there just like you  
and you just have to learn to accept it and just let nature do its course 
so dont lose hope 
lots , MANY ppl are behind u on this  
latas 

Guest

u know wat laura u are rite 
ur parents will not turn there back on u though cause do u know why? 
they're the ones tht brought u into this world 
and they will not push away there 1st child they loved in care for there whole life 
and im not saying im an expert cause im not 
but u r there world to them and thts wat makes u special to them and yourself. 
you may not be independent on this desicion 
but what makes you you is greater than anybody you could find in the world 
and dont feel alone  
cause theyre are many out there just like you  
and you just have to learn to accept it and just let nature do its course 
so dont lose hope 
lots , MANY ppl are behind u on this  
latas 

Guest

u know wat laura u are rite 
ur parents will not turn there back on u though cause do u know why? 
they're the ones tht brought u into this world 
and they will not push away there 1st child they loved in care for there whole life 
and im not saying im an expert cause im not 
but u r there world to them and thts wat makes u special to them and yourself. 
you may not be independent on this desicion 
but what makes you you is greater than anybody you could find in the world 
and dont feel alone  
cause theyre are many out there just like you  
and you just have to learn to accept it and just let nature do its course 
so dont lose hope 
lots , MANY ppl are behind u on this  
latas 

Guest

I felt the same way, My mum was especially homophobic. I told my sister who lives away from home and she prepared a bed for me at her house the night I told my parents. It was hard but my mum is a different person now, she not only accepts my sexuality but she now loves my boyfriend, buying him presents at christmas/birthday, taking us out for dinner and chatting to him on the phone when she phones me. (I live about 100 miles away now, in a completely different city, but we are still close.) 
 
You may be surprised at how accepting people can become when they realise the issue affects their own family.  
 
Try not to be bitter towards your parents, they're issue with homosexuality is down to ignorance and hopefully they'll learn differently. I wish you the best of luck in the future and I hope it doesn't get you down too much. The feeling you'll get when you eventually come out will be like nothing else in the world.

Guest

I guess I just thought that most other "western" societies were pretty much okay with homosexuality. I'm from the mid-western US, which could be a sign of my ignorance , but I have travelled abroad, and many places, particularly Europe, seem okay with it. Is homophobia more widespread than I thought?

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me 2

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I think what everone needs to to is stop thinking about what their families are going to think. I know that a lot of people put alot of stock into what their families think of them but in the end they are just people. Do you think they have the right to make judgment on you? Even if they do why would you care. If they cannot accept you for who you are then they should not even have the pleasure of calling you their child. 
 
I am hoping that people start to understand that there are always support groups, and friends outside of family that will help you though anything. I mean, if you have friends (who are real friends) and they like you as a person, you being gay/bi is not going to change that. You are still you, you just happen to be gay. So please, try and try again to come out and be who you actually are. Shame only breeds bitterness, and bitterness only breeds hate. 
 
Do yourself a favour, and open up. 
 
>>Spencer Hale

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ouch, yeah i have the same problem being gay and raised by my dad and brother i do not know how im going to tell them but i guess ill have to one day....

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Ive Only Just Accepted That I am Gay or Maybe Bi (not quite sure) and I really want to tell people but im scared that people will judge, I am thinking about telling a friend who recently came out but i'm not sure if its the right thing do, Can any1 help me, 
[SAM:WILSON]

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Nice things to share, We all belong to the same platform, I am from a very cultural land known INDIA.....& am PROUD TO BE A GAY........i know it would be little difficult to my parents to accept me intially, but later on with time they will accept me...as i know they LOVE me very much.........and am happy about things going around me.......Life is BEAUTIFUL....!!! 
Live it the way u wann it 
Regards, 
Amit

Guest

I know how you feel.  
My parents know that i am homosexual too, and trust me they don't look to happy about it. We used to talk like a family before, but then they started to ignore me. 
But yet again I don't have to worry about any of those now because I no longer live with them.  
ps. Good story

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I understandhow you feel, I'm gay(it still feels weird writing it) I look to my parents to see how they react to gay people, they seem to accept gay peole, but im affraid they will freak out when it comes to their own daughter.  
 
but I think they will be ok about it.

Guest

im attracted to women! i love children, one day, i want to be married.. BUT at the moment, i see myself being attracted to guys.. and i know i still like women, but this is difficult, because i was told by people in school, many people -- i was gay, and then i denied it, constantly because i knew what i wanted in life.. so after years of saying im not, and now im attracted to both sexes, im very confused.. 
 
i cannot tell people im bi-sexual because i want the easy way out.. i want a wife, i want kids, telling people i have experienced same sex involvment, in my mind, ruins all.. which i shouldnt think that way, but its hard not too.. everyone i know is homophobic, and it get worse that i only just realised my curiousity after everyones else, once they finally believe me, i realise! it\'s rediculous. 
 
everyone i know, does not like gay people.. and the people that don\'t care if your gay or not, will give me the \'\'i knew it speech\'\' from 6 years ago, even thought now they think im completely straight.. 
 
i hope this all makes sense to u all!

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thats a sad story, but i know exactly how you feel. my parents are homophobic too. anyhting that is remotely gay in my house is thrown outside in the trash. i always fear that if they found out about my secret life they would both kick me out of the house and tell me to never come back.. . i just dont know why i always punish them 
for treating ppl differently cuz of their sexual orientation. my parents have made it crystal clear that if i or my siblings are gay they WILL turn their backs on us and pretend we never existed but im going to come out as soon as i move out so i wont have to face their unloving stares.

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i wouldn't say i'm proud of being gay but i don't exactly feel ashamed about it. just that i don't think it's that much of a big deal. i once made a joke about my dad being gay, it wasn't even much, and he totally flipped out about it. he shouted to me about how being gay is wrong and how him getting called gay is the worst thing possible and how he hates everything about gay guys. i was just there crying while he just shouted at me about how he basically hated me, i'll never forgive him. everytime he sees something gay related on t.v he'll just say it's wrong or sick. i will never tell my dad i'm gay, and my mum isn't homophobic at all, she's got some gay friends i think. she'd be ok with it, just we're not close and she doesn't see me much since my parents are divorced and to be honest i don't think she wants to speand time with me. so basically the only people i will tell are my friends!

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