 How did I feel when I found out my daughter was a lesbian? It's hard to say. It was a mixture of feelings. My first thought was that life will be difficult for her. She is different and so therefore she would suffer the consequences of being different: suspicion, fear and rejection by the so-called normal world....
She would carry a label: dangerous and contagious, stay away, protect yourself! This made me feel sad at first, then angry, then protective. How could I help my daughter? I decided to learn more about homosexuality. Why does it happen? Can it be cured? I later found out that the first question, to date, has no answer, the second is a fallacious one, because it is not a disease.
I read a lot, and that confused me. The opinions expressed by various authors, in some cases, differed drastically, based on their backgrounds and what they were trying to prove.
It was my daughter who directed my wife and me to Parents of Gays. It was then that I realized that I was not alone. The same feelings of guilt, inadequacy, and sorrow were shared by many. There was one feeling I did not share.
Some people were angry at their children for being homosexuals, since they felt that it had brought shame on them.
Since my daughter has told us she's a lesbian and my wife and I have learned more about sexual orientation, we have become much closer to our daughter. Prior to this, there were times when she seemed distant, unhappy, at times impatient with us.
This has all changed.
I could go on with many more details, but I think the statement my daughter made recently sums it all up: "Dad, I have never been as happy and relaxed as I am now that you know and understand".
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