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DOMINATRIX DAISY
|  She is Fabulous: She is a Dominatrix on Tuesdays; she is a pimp on weekends; she drives a Nissan; she enjoys water sports; she knits for play boy.. and she gives advice! Please welcome The Gay Youth Corner's Agony Aunt*, Dominatrix Daisy.
She wants to help you the best way she knows how, if this involved whips and chains then so be it. Below are the very latest of her words of wisdom, you can give her some stimulus, give her your problems, by clicking here or on the image to the left!
* Note: The GYC does not guarantee that her advice will be of any use. Many may find her character and her 'advice' offensive.. nevermind! Remember - she is fictional!
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Dominatrix Daisy
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Hi Dominatrix Daisy. There’s this guy I really like but I’m not sure if he likes me as more than a friend. How can I tell him without making it awkward? Kal
Dear Kal, I relate to your situation. Once I really fancied this girl called Elizabeth, and I asked her if she wanted to be my slave-girl. Being the queen of England she wasn’t really up for that, and was quite annoyed that I had asked during her live TV Christmas speech. I also shot two of her corgis. While I can’t advise you about how to make it easy, I hope that my little story teaches you something... 
When executing a Corgi dog, especially one of Royal prestige, give them a head shot; they go quicker that way. If you need a get away method don’t use stilts; they didn’t get me very far and made using the bus really awkward.
If all else fails try writing into one of these agony aunts, I hear they are useful. Oh, wait… |
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Dominatrix Daisy
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I've tried anal masturbation many times, and experimented with different methods, but it never seems to ever be pleasurable, or bring me to orgasm.
What am I doing wrong, and how can I fix this?
Andrew
Dear Andrew,
Life is a funny thing. Have you ever heard of that guy, whose wife didn't know he was a drunk until he came home sober? I was that man.
If you can get any advice out of this you're as drunk as me.
Daisy x
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Dominatrix Daisy
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My best friend (let`s just call her Isabella) and I have been best friends since the start of middle school. Isabella knows I`m bi, and she`s VERY okay with it. However, she has a very drool-worthy, but very homophobic guy friend. A guy I thought I could trust spilled my little secret to him, and now the homophobe picks on me even more than he did before! Isabella`s known this homophobe longer than she`s known me, but she says I`m a better friend. She`s gotten on his arss about him picking on me more than once, and she`s really getting fed up with him, but she just won`t ditch him. When he walks up to her while I`m talking to her, I just glare at him and leave. I`m starting to think that she wants to ditch me for him...what do I do?
Jackie!
Dear Jackie,
Get a grip you lesbo. I'm a homophobe myself.
As an 84 year old, I am very connected with youth culture. You will often find me lap dancing 'go-get-it' yuppies on the banks of the Thames. This gives me wisdom, and the answer to your question:
Give them both a lap dance.
All the best,
Daisy
PS. My rates are $50/£100 an hour. Buy two and get whip lash for free.
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Dominatrix Daisy
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Hello, There's this boy I love at school and I dont now what to do. I think his straight, his never said anything about his sexuality. We use to be friends but a rumor spred around saying Im gay and loved him and ever since his been avoiding me, but Im not sure wether he likes me or not. When I do see him he smiles at me. but when I walk up to him he always walks away.
KINGSLEY
Dear Kingsley,
Call this a hunch, but I don't think he's into you (YET). Here's what you should do..
Devise a plan where mysteriously your clothes fall away from your body, leaving you sweaty, naked, horny and ready to go. Scatter the floor with slippery soap bars while he's not looking, take a run up and accidentally slip into his bottom. If he doesn't scream I think you're in for a winner. If he does scream - call this a hunch - but maybe it wasn't to be.
 Try this one:
When you write to me, use your spell checker. My Grandma, just the other day, mastered the spell check for the first time. She died four years ago. If she can do it anyone can.
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Dominatrix Daisy
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When it comes to sexuality, I've decided that I'm gay. But I only have
sexual feelings for guys.
When it comes to girls though I can build bonds.
Am I straight, bi, or what?
Well... i can honestly tell you, i have no idea what you are, AS I DONT KNOW WHAT SEX YOU ARE! In future, please write your name, or if u have an ambigous name like Jay or Ashley or Linda.... Please write, i am male, or i am female, or i dont have any sexy bits, cos they fell off in the bath. |
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Dominatrix Daisy
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Dear Dominatrix Daisy
I am having trouble with 'coming out' to my best friend. I know she will
understand and everything but i have these pessamistic thoughts that i sill
be shunned. What should i do?
Ok Puffin, what you need to do, is what i call "test the water", stick you toe in, and see what it feels like.... Ehem... Firstly, you could just try and get into a chat about the general and wonderful topic of Homosexuality, and note her responces. THEN if all is well, tell her that u think you might be a bisensual/bisexy curious, AND THEN if she takes that well, confess your undying love for all those with bits the same as you! If she is your "best friend" then it shouldnt matter, and u shud skip all my steps and get right to the final one. Good Luck Bunkins! |
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Dominatrix Daisy
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Hi Dominatrix Daisy. Theres this guy I really like but Im not sure if he likes me as more than a friend. How can I tell him without making it awkward?
Hello Kitten,
It so happens that a friend of mine recently told me that she had innapropriate feelings for me...I told her to shove off and that i'm not a dirty lesbian - which is completely false - as i am the dirtiest of lesbians, i just didnt fancy the slag.
So take heed supple one, are your feelings for him worth ruining your friendship? If they are, just tell him you want some action and bum fun. |
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Dominatrix Daisy
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"Dear Daisy, I love giving head to my boyfriend, but I dont like the taste of his cum. I dont mind the taste of my own, but his tastes like soot and mustard. I dont know what to do, HELP!" Firstly, my love, its Dominatrix Daisy, not Daisy, I havent taken it up the bum for 70 years whilst whipping shaven midgets to be called the name of a sweet smelling summer-time flower.Now, as for your disliking of salted man cream, all i have to say is, Smile and lap it up, 'cos no-one likes a spitter. |
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Dominatrix Daisy
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Every time I make a mini-disk on my hi-fi it corrupts. since i have wasted the best part of a day doing this it's very irritating. worst of all I have no music now for my 4 hour train journey. what's the best way to blow up a hi-fi in an angry fit?
From Alex, UK Buy an i-pod. This may not seem like a very economic step to take, and you would not be physically destroying it. But believe me, inside that hi-fi will be so emotionally torn apart and jealous that the effect will be very similar! |
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