let me set the scene for you. i surround myself with the highest G.P,A students in the school. all of them are completely fine with someone being gay. yet i can't find it in myself to come out to any of them. i knew a boy i met in 7th grade who imeddiately caught my eye for some strange reason i didnt undertand at the time. well 3 years later after i moved to another surrounding community i, still think this guy is the greatest thing ever to happen to me. by this time i have started to have gay fantasies about this boy. there were severeal signs that he himself might have been gay as well, but he has never to this day after several tries on my part, admitted to such a truth. but anywaya, by 10th grade i was strugaling with my feelings for this boy, so after a few bad things happened in our friendship, we "split up" for that whole year. well during this time is when i found out i gay for him. i dropped out of high school because of a sleeping disorder i developed as a cause of the depression not being around the boy i loved caused me. so i had to have his friendship back. and i did up untill about 3 weeks ago. i find that this gay love of mine will always go unfulfilled so i told him never to speak to me again. well more like i slept with the girl he was trying to date at the time. oh well now that i know i cant ever ever ever have him i feel completely fine now. but in the near future i believe i will still crave his smell, and beautiful eyes and hair, and his lovely body. i know in time my weakness will be to strong for me to keep a secret.

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